Jim: Kind of bummed we lost our bridge partners.
Connor: I'll play with you.
Audrey: That's nice, but it's a four-person game.
Connor: We could play something else.
Audrey: How about Scrabble?
Jim: How about something I'm good at?
Audrey: Reading on the toilet is not a game, Jim.

Mandy: Well, why don't you come with me? I know Beth wants to meet you.
Georgie: I ain't gonna get in the way of your girl talk?
Mandy: [chuckles] Girl talk? What's girl talk?
Georgie: I don't know. Guys' butts, panties?
Mandy: Put on a clean shirt, you're coming with me.

Mandy: Hey, uh, my friend Beth invited me over to her place tonight.
Georgie: Oh, I think your parents were hoping we'd play cards.
Mandy: Yeah, I'm well aware.

Georgie: "Then he nibbled a hole in the cocoon, pushed his way out, and he was a beautiful butterfly." But you knew that. 'Cause Daddy's read this story 118 times.

Ruben: You know, after work on Fridays, me and my buddies play a little half-court basketball.
Georgie: Cool.
Ruben: Yeah, and after we grab pizza and beer.
Georgie: Sounds fun.
Ruben: [chuckling] It is. It really is. [walks off]
Jim: I've gone with them. It's a good time.

Georgie: I don't know, Mandy's just got in my head about us having a social life.
Jim: So? You must have lots of friends.
Georgie: I do. I mean, I did. Maybe I don't.
Jim: Well, hang in there. When CeeCee gets a little older, she'll make friends and you'll pretend to like their parents.
Georgie: Maybe I will like 'em.
Jim: You won't, they're awful.

Georgie: When you got married, did you still have other friends?
Jim: Oh, yeah, tons.
Georgie: What about after you had kids?
Jim: Oh, no, life as I knew it ended.
Georgie: But you were fine with that, right?
Jim: I get the feeling you want me to say yes.

Georgie: Well, just so you know, your daughter and I had a pretty fun night, too. She discovered farting in the bathtub.
Mandy: Aw, and I missed it?
Georgie: Don't worry, if she's anything like her daddy, she'll do it again.

Mandy: It was so nice to hang out with a woman who didn't give birth to me.
Georgie: Well, a couple pretty women at the bar, you must have gotten hit on.
Mandy: Actually, not at all.
Georgie: Oh. Well, they must've saw your wedding ring and didn't want to be disrespectful.
Mandy: Good. Yeah. That's why.

Georgie: Did you have fun?
Mandy: It was okay.
Georgie: Mandy...
Mandy: I had a nice time.
Georgie: Mandy...
Mandy: Okay, I had a great time. [sighs]
Georgie: Good, I'm glad.

Mandy: Hey. What are you still doing up?
Georgie: Just watching Rambo III. You'd think it'd answer a lot of questions from I and II, but it don't.

Beth: No, it's fine, I got my son, my freedom, now it's my turn to have fun.
Mandy: And, now, when you say "fun," you mean...
Beth: Sex with men I barely know.
Mandy: Okay, well, I won't be doing that, but I will be cheering for you.
Beth: Thank you!
Mandy: You go, hoebag.

Mandy: Huh. Look at me. It's after 9:00, I'm not only out, I'm awake.
Beth: And your husband didn't mind staying home with the baby?
Mandy: Oh, no, he loves it.
Beth: That's nice. My ex loved babies, too.
Mandy: Why'd you break up?
Beth: He made a baby with another woman.
Mandy: Oh. Sorry.
Beth: No, it's okay. Yeah, he's that bitch's problem now.
Mandy: Man, I hate bitches.

Mandy: Hi, can I get anything else for you or your wife?
Older Man: No, she's my sister.
Mandy: [whispers to Beth] Oh, my God.

Beth: Hey, I'm gonna grab a drink when we get off. You want to come?
Mandy: Wow, I can't remember the last time I went out for a drink.
Beth: Is that a yes?
Mandy: I-I don't know, my husband's at home with the baby.
Beth: Well, if it's too much trouble...
Mandy: Oh, no, it's no trouble, I'm coming.

Beth: Oh, my God, how long does it take to finish a slice of pie?
Mandy: I know, but it's kind of romantic the way they look at each other.
Beth: What makes you think they're a couple? Maybe they're brother and sister in some kind of sick relationship.
Mandy: [scoffs] What is wrong with you?
Beth: I'm not rooting for it. I said it was sick.

Georgie: In the meantime, you're looking pretty good for an old lady.
Mandy: Oh, really? Is that so?
Georgie: That is so. What do you say I get you out of them bloomers and see what happens?
Mandy: "Bloomers"?
Georgie: Ain't that what you old biddies wear under your frock?
Mandy: Please stop talking.

Mandy: When did this become our life?
Georgie: What's wrong with spending time with your folks?
Mandy: Nothing, I just miss having a social life.
Georgie: We have a social life. We got your mom, dad, brother, my mom, meemaw, sister...
Mandy: Okay, okay.
Georgie: And if you count our TV friends, we got Tony Danza, Frasier...
Mandy: Stop.

Mandy: Can't believe I just spent my Friday night playing bridge with my parents. I'm a hundred years old.
Georgie: Guess that makes me only 89. Sorry.

Georgie: Tell you what, why don't we switch partners? I'll play with your mama.
Audrey: Now we're talking.
Jim: Aw, why do I get Mandy?
Mandy: I'm not that bad.
Jim: You are.
Mandy: Am I?
Georgie: Oh, what do I know? I'm just a beginner. [spreads the cards]