Jim: I share a birthday with Bryant Gumbel. [Audrey turns around but offers no reaction] Oh, come on, that's cool.

Connor: I have a secret of my own.
Mandy: Oh, good for you.
Connor: Would you like to hear it?
Mandy: Not really.
Connor: I've been corresponding with Tonight Show host Jay Leno.
Jim: Seriously?
Connor: We share a birthday. I sent him a card, he responded, an unlikely friendship was born.
Mandy: Oh, please, why would he be friends with you?
Connor: Simple. He's a man of the people, and I'm people.

Mandy: Okay, no more credit card talk around Georgie.
Audrey: I assumed you told him.
Mandy: Well, you assumed wrong.
Jim: Don't you think he has a right to know?
Mandy: Of course he does.
Jim: So what's the holdup?
Mandy: He thinks I'm perfect. Why would I take that away from him?

Georgie: Geez, CeeCee. How'd you get food in your hair?
Jim: Yeah, I miss when she was bald. It was our thing.

Jim: Now you just be careful. Those cards can get you in trouble.
Audrey: Mm, Amanda knows a thing or two about that. Don't you, Amanda?
Georgie: Oh, yeah?
Mandy: Well, when I was younger I-I got a little carried away, but I learned my lesson.
Georgie: Younger like my age?
Mandy: Yes.
Georgie: So a long time ago.
Mandy: Yes.

Georgie: This is going right next to my driver's license. [opens wallet]
Mandy: Maybe it's time to retire the Velcro.
Georgie: Why? It still works. [opens and closes wallet]

Mandy: What's that?
Georgie: My very first credit card.
Mandy: Oh.
Audrey: You never had one before?
Georgie: Nope. Blockbuster card, Subway card. That's it.
Audrey: Not even a library card?
Georgie: [chuckles] Good one.

Georgie: Good news, my mail's finally coming to this address.
Audrey: Oh, joy. [hits dough with a rolling pin]

Mandy: Huh, weird.
Audrey: What?
Mandy: Well, this article says to put cabbage leaves in your bra when you're ready to stop breastfeeding.
Audrey: Why would you do that?
Mandy: To help dry up your milk.
Jim: Wh-What happens to the cabbage leaves?
Mandy: That's your question?

Missy Cooper: [sighs] I'm not pregnant, I just got suspended. Mom doesn't know, she thinks I'm in school right now. With you gone, Sheldon gone, I'm alone a lot. It's way easier to get away with stuff... ...but it kind of sucks. [exhales] I really miss you. [sniffles]
[cut to Missy crying in the passenger's seat as Georgie drives her home:]
Georgie: Feel better?
Missy Cooper: No, you jerk!

Georgie: Have at it.
Missy Cooper: Not with you listening.
Georgie: Oh. Right. [walks off]
Missy Cooper: Hi, Dad. There's some stuff I should tell you. For starters, I'm pregnant and my math teacher is the father.
Georgie: [o.s.] What?!
Missy Cooper: I knew you were listening.
Georgie: Sorry.

Missy Cooper: This is weird.
Georgie: Just talk to him. I really think you'll feel better.
Missy Cooper: I think I'll feel stupid.
Georgie: Hey, I didn't tell Mom about you getting suspended, the least you can do is tell Dad.
Missy Cooper: [exasperated sigh] Fine.
Georgie: Hey, Dad. Look who I brought. It's Missy, in case you can only hear.

Georgie: I may not have been completely honest about having everything under control. Truth is, I'm flying by the seat of my pants and my pants are on fire. I'm stressed out, all the time. How'd you do it? How'd you make it look so easy? Fine, don't tell me. Okay, I should go. [sighs] This was good. Thanks for listening. Hey, maybe you can ask the big guy to keep an eye on your daughter. Send an angel, get her in the Army, something. Hurry.

Jim: Son, don't feel bad, lots of guys struggle with emotional stuff.
Georgie: Ever happen to you?
Jim: Sure.
Georgie: What do you do?
Jim: [holding a slice of bacon] I find what's most helpful is eating healthy and exercise.
Mandy: Dad...
Jim: You want the truth? 'Cause it's dark. [eats bacon]

Georgie: Mrs. McAllister, I owe you an apology, I was out of line.
Audrey: Let's just forget it ever happened and have a nice breakfast.
Georgie: You told them, didn't you?
Mandy: I just wanted everybody to take it easy on you.
Audrey: Well, that's what families do, Georgie. We support one another.
Mandy: Wow, you suck at this.

Mandy: Is there anything I can do to help? Doctor said for sure your heart's okay?
Georgie: Yeah.
Mandy: Want to go find out?

Mandy: You just lost your dad. You got a brand-new baby, your sister's struggling, an unemployed wife, you got no money-
Georgie: Okay, okay.
Mandy: And my mom.
Georgie: Put it that way, it's a miracle I'm still alive.

Mandy: Georgie, what's going on?
Georgie: I don't want you to worry.
Mandy: You can't tell somebody not to worry and expect them not to worry. They're gonna worry.
Georgie: Okay, fine. After I left, I started having some chest pains, so I went to the hospital.
Mandy: Oh, my God!
Georgie: See? Now you're worried.

Mandy: [on the phone] So, what's going on with this school thing?
Missy Cooper: Oh, that. [scoffs] Nothing.
Mandy: Okay, well, if you want to talk, I'm here.
Missy Cooper: Fine. I've been falling behind at school and just been feeling- [door rattles]
Mandy: Oh! Georgie's home, got to go. [disconnect tone sounds]

Mandy: [on the phone] Hey, is- is Georgie over there?
Missy Cooper: No, why?
Mandy: Oh, I just thought maybe he stopped by. [chuckles]
Missy Cooper: Y'all have a fight?
Mandy: No, don't be silly. So, uh, what happened with you at school today?
Missy Cooper: Don't change the subject. What're you fighting about?
Mandy: There's no fight, it's just... two adults seeing things different.
Missy Cooper: And then arguing about it till one runs away?
Mandy: Yeah.
Missy Cooper: I ran away a lot as a kid. He'll grow out of it.