Jim: All I'm saying is the kid is more on the ball than you think. You know, he's been trying to get me to sell Korean tires.
Audrey: Korean tires?
Jim: They're actually pretty good.
Audrey: So, why don't we sell them?
Jim: We just don't.
Audrey: Jim...
Jim: My Goodyear sales rep promised me a ride on the blimp.

Jim: He's got a lot on his plate and I feel for him.
Audrey: You feel for him.
Jim: Yeah.
Audrey: [sighs] Well, at the risk of being a broken record, there's no way this marriage lasts, and I say, the sooner it ends the better.
Jim: Oh, you don't know that. Come on. Your dad hated me, I'm still here.
Audrey: My dad hated your long hair. [strokes Jim's head] Well...

Jim: Look, I know the kid lost his temper, but that is not his nature.
Audrey: Whose side are you on?
Jim: [scoffs] There's no sides.
Audrey: Of course there are. That's all a marriage is. Warfare.

Jim: Got to tell you, I'm worried about Georgie.
Audrey: What about me? I'm the one who got yelled at.
Jim: I'm always worried about you.
Audrey: You lying dog.

Dr. Hill: You under a lot of stress?
Georgie: I guess. Nothing I can't handle.
Dr. Hill: Well, high levels of anxiety can produce physical symptoms.
Georgie: "Anxiety"? Please, that's just some New York nonsense.
Dr. Hill: Trust me, even Texans can suffer from it.
Georgie: Maybe them hippies in Austin. Not here.

Dr. Hill: Good news. Your heart is fine.
Georgie: You sure? Didn't feel fine.
Dr. Hill: Most likely, you had a panic attack.
Georgie: Mm. That don't sound right.
Dr. Hill: Well, they can present like a heart attack you know, chest pains, shortness of breath.
Georgie: Well, I did eat a whole bottle of TUMS, maybe it's Tum poisoning.

Jim: Everything okay with your sister?
Georgie: Yeah, just some girl stuff. I handled it.
Mandy: Why is she calling you about girl stuff?
Georgie: Why wouldn't she? I'm married to a girl, I have a daughter, [to Audrey] I know you.
Mandy: So, she's all right?
Georgie: Oh, yeah, you know teenagers.
Audrey: She should, she married one.

Mandy: You're still pretending he's fine?
Audrey: He is fine. He just has a unique view of the world. Right, Jim?
Jim: "Unique" is the word we agreed to use.

Connor: Good news, got the vacuum tube.
Audrey: Ooh, that's great, honey.
Connor: The, uh, owner of the store was a roadie for Bob Seger. He's got a cat named Night Moves. She had a lot of nipples.
Mandy: That's a weird thing to say.
Connor: It was a weird thing to see.

Jim: Well, here's an idea, how about you take some night classes, brush up on your computer skills and get a nice, cushy office job?
Mandy: Office job? Why did I spend six years getting a degree in Communications?
Jim: I asked that question for six years.
Mandy: Well, I'm not giving up on my dream.
Audrey: No one's saying that.
Jim: I am.

Missy Cooper: What're you taking Tums for?
Georgie: My stomach.
Missy Cooper: What's wrong with your stomach?
Georgie: Nothing. Just ate something ain't sitting right.
Missy Cooper: You should try smoking weed.
Georgie: You're smoking pot now?
Missy Cooper: Why? You got some?
Georgie: No.
Missy Cooper: You want some?

Georgie: Come on. You got a good head on your shoulders, why don't you try using it?
Missy Cooper: Listen to you. You sound like Dad.
Georgie: Well, you know, genetics. [Missy laughs softly] What?
Missy Cooper: That's what the test was on. Genetics.

Georgie: What were you thinking?
Missy Cooper: I was thinking I didn't want to take the test.
Georgie: So cut class, don't pull a fire alarm.
Missy Cooper: Next time, I'll know better.
Georgie: No next time. And how do you think you're gonna keep this from Mom?
Missy Cooper: Easy. I pretend to go to school in the morning and pretend to come home in the afternoon.
Georgie: The school's gonna call the house.
Missy Cooper: No problem. [as Mary] "Hi, this is Mary Cooper, Jesus loves you. What'd she do? Don't you worry, I will pray the devil right out of that rascal."
Georgie: That's not gonna work.
Missy Cooper: It did last time I got suspended.

Georgie: [on the phone] What'd you do?
Missy Cooper: It's not that big a deal.
Georgie: Getting suspended's a big deal.
Missy Cooper: Are you coming or not?
Georgie: I can't just drop everything, I have a job.
Missy Cooper: Forget it, I'll hitch. If I never see you again, don't blame yourself.
Georgie: I'm on my way.

Georgie: [exhales] [strains] Hello? Anybody? Ruben!
Jim: [enters] Georgie. Your sister's on the phone.
Georgie: I'm gonna have to call her back.
Jim: What are you doing?
Georgie: I'm holding the transmission fluid recirculator.
Jim: The what?
Georgie: Ruben said if I let it fall, bad things will happen.
Jim: [on the phone] Missy, hang on a sec. [to Georgie] Son, there is no such thing as a transmission fluid recirculator.
Georgie: Then what am I holding?
Jim: I have no idea.

Ruben: Hold this.
Georgie: What is it?
Ruben: Transmission fluid recirculator.
Georgie: Hmm. Got it.
Ruben: Do not let go.
Georgie: Why? What'll happen?
Ruben: Bad things. Very bad things. [walks off]
Georgie: Where you going?
Ruben: Be right back.
Georgie: Okeydoke.

Georgie: What you doing?
Ruben: Shocks.
Georgie: Cool. You ever worry you'll get crushed under here?

Mandy: You know, instead of worrying about Georgie and me... [whispers] ...you should worry about him.
Audrey: There's nothing wrong with your brother.
Mandy: Mom...
Audrey: Nothing!

Connor: Mother, can I borrow your car?
Audrey: Why?
Connor: I need to drive to a music store in Houston to get a 12AT7 dual-triode vacuum tube for my amp.
Audrey: I need my car. Does it have to be today?
Connor: If I wait too long, they might sell out.
Mandy: No one's buying weird vacuum tubes but you.
Connor: If you could only hear how foolish you sound.

Mandy: It's not Georgie's fault. I'm just frustrated trying to find a job.
Audrey: You ever think instead of the TV news, you try the local paper?
Mandy: [scoffs] Look at this face. I'm on-camera talent.