Georgie: You'll be okay with CeeCee while I'm gone?
Mandy: Of course.
Audrey: Plus, Grandma's here.
Connor: And I can always lend a hand.
Jim: Have you ever even held a baby?
Connor: I've held an accordion. How different can it be?
Jim: You don't squeeze a baby.
Connor: Got it.

Audrey: So, all these years, I've offered to go with you, and you've always said no.
Jim: Well, I just didn't think you'd care about a bunch of dudes talking about advances in tire treads.
Georgie: Goodyear's got this new Aquatred. It's designed to shed water twice as fast as a normal tire. It's something else.
Jim: See?

Georgie: So can I?
Jim: You really want to?
Georgie: I do.
Jim: Okay, fine. I'll tell Ruben he has to run the shop.
Georgie: I'll tell him.
Jim: No, this is good news. Boss gets to give the good news.

Mandy: Where you going?
Jim: New Orleans, tire convention.
Mandy: Oh. Are you taking Georgie?
Jim: Why would I?
Mandy: Why wouldn't you? He's great at networking, people like him.
Connor: I'm a fan.
Georgie: Thank you, Bubba.

Audrey: Before you leave, would you take a look at the toilet in our bathroom?
Jim: Oh, you just have to jiggle the handle.
Audrey: I prefer not to jiggle, Jim.

Georgie: Ruben, just a heads-up. Mr. McAllister's going out of town, and he's leaving me in charge.
Ruben: That makes sense. You have been here several months.
Georgie: Just so you know, I don't even think of it as me being in charge. I think of us more as partners, like Tango and Cash.
Ruben: I don't know what that is.
Georgie: You ain't never seen Tango & Cash? Kurt Russell, Sylvester Stallone?
Ruben: Go make coffee.
Georgie: Yes, sir.

Georgie: So you told him?
Jim: No, that's why the door's shut.
Georgie: Well, I don't want to tell him.
Jim: Son, dealing with disgruntled employees is part of the job.
Georgie: Then why don't you do it?
Jim: Well, I'm dealing with you. You're disgruntled. I'm done.
Georgie: Fine.
Jim: This is good for you.
Georgie: You mean it's good for you.
Jim: Same thing.

Jim: I need you to cover the store this weekend.
Georgie: Where are you gonna be?
Jim: Tire convention in New Orleans.
Georgie: And you ain't taking me?
Jim: Why would I?
Georgie: Well, a tire convention's like going to Dollywood, but better 'cause there's tires.

Jim: Shut the door.
Georgie: Am I in trouble?
Jim: No.
Georgie: Am I getting a raise?
Jim: No.
Georgie: Is it about my coffee rule?
Jim: Just sit.

Georgie: Hey, you know the rule, whoever finishes the coffee's got to make more.
Ruben: That's the rule, huh?
Georgie: Yeah.
Ruben: And who made the rule?
Georgie: Well, uh, me.
Ruben: Cheers.
Georgie: Without rules, we got anarchy!

Mandy: Hi.
Joan: I told you, I don't want what you're selling.
Mandy: I know. And- and I'm not selling. I just came by to apologize.
Joan: For what?
Mandy: Well, this is hard for me, but I was trying to prove to my husband that I- I'm- I'm more than just a mom. But maybe I'm kidding myself. I mean, maybe that's all I am.
Joan: I had a husband like that.
Mandy: So you understand. I mean, no matter how hard you work, you're always the junior partner in the relationship.
Joan: Second-class citizen.
Mandy: Exactly. Anyway, I'll- I'll leave you alone. I just I wanted to tell you how sorry I am for bothering you.
Joan: Hang on! Tell me about what you're selling.
Mandy: Oh, I'm just so glad you asked!

Mandy: Yeah, well, what'd you learn?
Georgie: Well, in a nutshell, all you gals want is to be heard and have your feelings validated.
Mandy: Huh. All us gals.
Georgie: Sorry. All you girls. [off Mandy's look] Ladies? Well, I know it ain't "chicks."
Mandy: [scoffs] Well, what about all you fellas?
Georgie: Well, that's interesting. Turns out men are problem solvers. We like to fix stuff. But here's where it gets tricky y'all don't want us to fix stuff. You just want to complain. [Mandy exhales, gets up off the couch, picks up CeeCee and walks away] Whatever you're feeling, I acknowledge it!

Mandy: What's that?
Georgie: Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus.
Mandy: You're kidding.
Georgie: They ain't really. It's just a metaphor.
Mandy: [chuckles] Yeah, I got it. Uh, why are you reading it?
Georgie: Well, I'm trying to be a better husband.
Mandy: You'd do that for me?
Georgie: I'd do anything for you.
Mandy: I didn't think that included reading a book.
Georgie: Not just any book a long-ass, boring one.

Georgie: Hey. How'd her checkup go?
Mandy: Great, good, she might need glasses. More importantly, I made a ton of sales and I did it all by myself.
Georgie: That's amazing.
Mandy: You're darn right it's amazing.

Jackie: So what are you selling?
Mandy: Oh, uh, it doesn't matter.
Jackie: Yes, it does. It matters very much.
Mandy: Oh, uh, well... diet shakes, vitamins, nutrition bars.
Jackie: Oh. I could probably lose a little bit of the baby weight.
Mandy: Oh, well, don't say that. You're beautiful. $15 a box, two for $20.
Jackie: I'll take two.
Kim: Yeah, same here.
Receptionist: I'll take eight.
Mandy: Okay. Hang on. Let me write this down.

Jackie: Don't you love being a mom?
Mandy: I do. She's everything to me. But there are some days where I feel like all I am is "CeeCee's mom." [chuckles]
Jackie: And that is not enough.
Mandy: I have more to offer the world than... changing diapers and blending bananas.
Kim: I get that.
Mandy: You want to know something? I just took a sales job, not because I needed it but because I wanted something I could call my own. And my husband - bless his dumb, redneck heart - swooped in and took it away from me.
Jackie: They think they can fix everything.
Kim: Why don't they get us?
Receptionist: Because they're self-centered sons of bitches.
Mandy: You got that right.

Connor: Bathroom's clean. [goes to the kitchen]
Jim: Attaboy.
Audrey: What did you say to him?
Jim: I just asked.
Audrey: I don't know how I feel about this.
Jim: What's the problem?
Audrey: [sighs] I guess I'm just used to taking care of him.
Jim: Aw. 'Cause he's your baby boy?
Audrey: Yeah.
Jim: Hmm? Well, if it makes you feel any better, you can always take care of me.
Audrey: Oh, it's not the same!
Connor: [enters] Brought you a fresh one, Dad.
Jim: Thank you, son. [Connor exits] [chuckles softly] [to Audrey] It's a tough night for you, huh?

Georgie: Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. Hmm. That explains a lot. Have you read it?
Ms. Hutchins: Several times.
Georgie: Did it work?
Ms. Hutchins: Yes, my love life is fantastic. Do you want the book or not?
Georgie: Sure. I'm young and married, you're old and alone. It's funny how things work out.
Ms. Hutchins: Hilarious.

Georgie: Speaking of making sense, you got any books that explain women or marriage or whatever it is I did wrong?
Ms. Hutchins: Oh. I have just the thing.
Georgie: You married?
Ms. Hutchins: Me? Oh, I'm too busy having fun to settle down.

Ms. Hutchins: Georgie?
Georgie: Ms. Hutchins? You quit working at the high school?
Ms. Hutchins: No, I do both. This one for the money, high school librarian for the glamour. What brings you by?
Georgie: I'm kind of looking for a book on relationships. My wife and I are having a bit of a spat.
Ms. Hutchins: You're married?
Georgie: Got a baby, too.
Ms. Hutchins: Oh, you knocked her up. That makes more sense.