Georgie: My dad taught me real early: never a lender or a borrower be. That's in the Bible.
Mandy: Uh, that's actually Shakespeare.
Georgie: Well, that ain't where my dad heard it.
Mandy: Well, what else did your dad teach you?
Georgie: Hmm, let's think. Oh, you'll like this one. The secret to findin' out how your wife's gonna look when she's older is to check out her mother.
Mandy: Oh, ew.
Georgie: What? Your mom's a fox. That works in your favor.
Mandy: Oh, here it comes again. Oh, ew.

Frasier: [on TV] In order to prevent spillage, one does not simply twist out the cork. [shouts] Oh, God!
Georgie: Frasier's a laughing show. I like laughing shows.
Audrey: What are you talking about?
Georgie: Well, some shows you can hear people laughing, and some you can't. Wonder Years, no one's laughing. Is it funny? We'll never know.
Audrey: I prefer to laugh when I choose to.
Georgie: Really? I ain't never seen you laugh. [Jim laughs]

Georgie: You know, there's a Bible study Wednesday. You want to come?
Mandy: Oh, wow, we really need to work on your dirty talk.
Georgie: [chuckles] Sorry, I just think you really might like it.
Mandy: Thanks, but I don't need to watch you sell tires to a bunch of Bible thumpers.
Georgie: It ain't about that. It's actually kind of working.
Mandy: W-What are you talking about?
Georgie: I'm making more money and you want to have day sex. That's everything I've ever prayed for.

Jim: Where'd you learn to play blackjack like that?
Georgie: My meemaw taught me.
Jim: Well, that figures. How much you up?
Georgie: She also taught me to never answer that question.
Jim: Aw, come on, I'll tell you how I did.
Georgie: I watched you play. I know how you did.
Jim: Yeah, well... I'll make it back tomorrow.
Georgie: Not if you keep hittin' on a 12 when the dealer shows a six.
Jim: I had a feeling.

Mandy: Huh, weird.
Audrey: What?
Mandy: Well, this article says to put cabbage leaves in your bra when you're ready to stop breastfeeding.
Audrey: Why would you do that?
Mandy: To help dry up your milk.
Jim: Wh-What happens to the cabbage leaves?
Mandy: That's your question?

Georgie: Good news, my mail's finally coming to this address.
Audrey: Oh, joy. [hits dough with a rolling pin]

Mandy: What's that?
Georgie: My very first credit card.
Mandy: Oh.
Audrey: You never had one before?
Georgie: Nope. Blockbuster card, Subway card. That's it.
Audrey: Not even a library card?
Georgie: [chuckles] Good one.