Meemaw: So, how's it going? My little great-granddaughter saying "meemaw" yet?
Mandy: No, just "dada." Pisses me off.
Dale Ballard: Uh, enjoy it. My kid doesn't even talk to me anymore.
Meemaw: Why bring it up?
Dale Ballard: It's called making conversation.

Meemaw: [to CeeCee] Forget the turkey, I'm gonna gobble you up.
Dale Ballard: I won't be eating any children.
Georgie: Thank y'all so much for coming.
Meemaw: You bet.
Dale Ballard: I had no choice.

Jim: So, Dale... when are you two kids gonna make it official?
Dale Ballard: I've asked repeatedly.
Meemaw: We don't need to get married. We're fine just as we are.
Dale Ballard: No, she's hoping somebody better comes along.
Meemaw: Don't you want the best for me?
Mandy: Okay, CeeCee's napping. What'd I miss?
Dale Ballard: She don't want to marry me.

Dale Ballard: [plays guitar and sings, with Connor playing along on accordion] ♪ I fell into a burning ring of fire ♪ ♪ I went down, down, down ♪ And the flames went higher ♪ And it burns, burns, burns - Ouch! ♪ That ring of fire ♪ That ring of fire ♪
Meemaw: [to Mandy] Still better than camping.
Connor: Everybody.
All: ♪ I fell into a burning ring of fire ♪
Jim: [Audrey kicks Jim awake] Huh?
All: ♪ Went down, down, down ♪ And the flames get higher ♪
Dale Ballard: Come on, Jim!
Jim: [half-asleep] ♪ Burns, burns ♪
All: ♪ That ring of fire ♪ That ring of fire ♪

Audrey: Oh, hello.
Dale Ballard: Hi. [points to himself] Dale.
Audrey: I know who you are. We spent Thanksgiving together.
Dale Ballard: Oh, right, yeah. And your name is?
Audrey: Audrey.
Dale Ballard: Really?
Audrey: Yes.
Dale Ballard: Huh. I wasn't even close.

Dale Ballard: Is Georgie around?
Audrey: Uh, he's out in the garage with Jim.
Dale Ballard: I, uh- I, uh, brought by some of his meemaw's stuff. I thought maybe he could give it back to her.
Audrey: Did something happen?
Dale Ballard: We broke up.
Audrey: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
Dale Ballard: Yeah, it's been a rough couple of days.
[Dale barges in and hands Audrey the box of stuff and sits down on the couch]
Audrey: Come on in.

Dale Ballard: [grunts] You got anything to drink?
Audrey: Iced tea?
Dale Ballard: Anything stronger?
Audrey: Beer?
Dale Ballard: Keep going.
Audrey: Whiskey?
Dale Ballard: We have a winner. Audrey.

Dale Ballard: I gave that woman everything I had. My house, my bed, most of my bathroom. You know that woman has a lotion for every one of her body parts?
Jim: They do, don't they?
Georgie: Yeah, Mandy's always greasing up her elbows.
Dale Ballard: [in Audrey's face] Connie's got great elbows.

Audrey: What's that on your wrist?
Mandy: Oh, uh, this? I can explain.
Audrey: Please do.
Dale Ballard: [wakes up] Where's the bathroom? I got to pee.
Mandy: Oh, I'll take you.
Dale Ballard: Okay. Thank you, Audrey.

Meemaw: [opens door] What?
Dale Ballard: Oh, I... just stopped by to check on you, see if you're doing okay.
Meemaw: That's very thoughtful of you. I'm fine, thank you.
Dale Ballard: Well, good.
Meemaw: Anything else?
Dale Ballard: [crying] Connie, please come home! I miss you. Golly... I don't care if you run a book or if you rob banks or if... [crying] if you're a serial killer. I love you.
Meemaw: I love you, too.

Dale Ballard: Does that mean you'll come home?
Meemaw: Gee... I already paid the night.
Dale Ballard: Oh.
Meemaw: You want to come in and show me how sorry you are?
Dale Ballard: Really?
Meemaw: Yeah.
Dale Ballard: I had a... a big dinner, but I can try.
Meemaw: What'd you eat?
Dale Ballard: Brisket at the Smokehouse.
Meemaw: You gonna need some Tums.
Dale Ballard: A lot of them.
Meemaw: Come on.