Audrey: Excuse me. Did anyone happen to find a pair of shoes?
Frank: Oh, yeah. Welcome back. Here you go.
Audrey: Thank you.
Frank: Hang on. You want the bra, too?
Audrey: [chuckles nervously] That's not mine!

Mandy: [to Audrey] I got diamonds. You got squat.

Audrey: Did you get me anything, honey?
Jim: Oh, you don't remember? I told you on the phone I was gonna get you something. You told me not to. You were very firm about it. Okay, I'm gonna unpack and hit the shower.

Mandy: So, I hope it wasn't all work. I hope you had a little fun.
Georgie: Well, you know me. Work is fun.
Mandy: Mm.
Georgie: Here, check it out. I got you something.
Mandy: [gasps] Oh, my God. Diamond earrings. Are these real?
Georgie: 'Course they're real.
Mandy: How can you afford these?
Georgie: [stammering] Your dad gave me a raise.
Jim: Sure did!

Jim: How 'bout you gals? Sounds like you had a night.
Audrey: What do you mean?
Jim: Well, you called me drunk off your ass.
Audrey: No, I didn't.
Jim: Seriously? You don't remember?
Audrey: Jim, I'd remember if I called you.
Jim: Okay.
Audrey: Okay.
Jim: Ever find your shoes?
Audrey: Oh, my God, I called you.

Mandy: Welcome back.
Audrey: How was the convention?
Jim: Best one yet.
Audrey: Aw.
Georgie: Yeah. Korean sales rep took us out to a steakhouse. We had steaks.
Mandy: Yum.

Georgie: You think they're onto us?
Jim: Ah, she would've said something.
Georgie: All right, well, I'm gonna turn in.
Jim: Sure. Wouldn't want to stay up too late and have fun.
Georgie: Mr. McAllister.
Jim: Yeah.
Georgie: No disrespect, but I'm seriously questioning you as a role model.
Jim: That's understandable.

Jim: [phone rings] Oh, this can't be good. [answers phone] Hello?
Audrey: Hello, Jim.
Jim: Audrey?
Audrey: Are you convention-ing? [laughing]
Jim: Uh, we were sleeping.
Georgie: Something wrong?
Jim: Shh. [on the phone] You okay?
Audrey: I'm great. Really great.
Jim: Great.
Audrey: And you're great.
Jim: Okay.
Georgie: What's going on?
Jim: [covers handset] I think she's drunk.
Audrey: Is that Georgie? Hi, Georgie!
Jim: She's drunk.
Audrey: Me and Mandy went out drinking!
Jim: [on the phone] Oh! Well, that sounds fun.
Audrey: I don't know where my shoes are.
Jim: Oh, I'm sure they'll turn up.
Audrey: Okay. [chuckles] Tell Georgie I said hi.
Jim: Will do.
Audrey: Good night, sexy man.
Jim: Good night... [sees Georgie] ...you.

Jim: Where'd you learn to play blackjack like that?
Georgie: My meemaw taught me.
Jim: Well, that figures. How much you up?
Georgie: She also taught me to never answer that question.
Jim: Aw, come on, I'll tell you how I did.
Georgie: I watched you play. I know how you did.
Jim: Yeah, well... I'll make it back tomorrow.
Georgie: Not if you keep hittin' on a 12 when the dealer shows a six.
Jim: I had a feeling.

Audrey: Where are my shoes?
Mandy: That is a wonderful question.
Audrey: I like those shoes.
Mandy: Uh-huh.

Connor: What's wrong with her?
Mandy: Oh, she had a couple beers.
Audrey: I had a couple beers. [slaps Connor's thigh]
Mandy: And a couple shots.
Audrey: Tequila!
Mandy: Is everything okay with CeeCee?
Connor: Sound asleep.
Audrey: [holding Connor's face] Oh, we need to find you a girl so you can have your own babies. [to Mandy] When are you gonna have more? You're not getting any younger.

Georgie: What do you think Mrs. McAllister's secrets are?
Jim: Hey, I don't know. I don't want to know.
Georgie: Oh, I bet she's got some doozies. Stealing from the store. Sleepin' with the mailman.
Jim: Enough.
Georgie: You don't like thinking about that, do ya?
Jim: No.
Georgie: Good.

Georgie: I just can't help wondering if this is how my marriage is gonna be in 30 years.
Jim: If you're lucky.
Georgie: How is this lucky?
Jim: Ah, 30 years is a good run. Lot of folks end up divorced.
Georgie: Yeah, 'cause they lie to each other.
Jim: Hey, when you been with someone that long, it's nice to have a little secret now and then.
Georgie: You trying to convince me or you?
Jim: I'm trying to have some fun, but I got the world's oldest teenager dragging me down.

Jim: What ya thinking? Hold 'em, blackjack, craps?
Georgie: Doesn't matter, whatever you want.
Jim: Oh, quit your moping.
Georgie: I ain't moping, I'm fretting.
Jim: What's the difference?
Georgie: "Moping" is sad about yesterday. "Fretting" is sad about tomorrow.
Jim: That's heavy.

Audrey: Are you really worried about us? Or is this about you and Georgie?
Mandy: Um, I don't know, I guess a little of both.
Audrey: You know I haven't always been his biggest fan, but I have to admit he's a good husband.
Mandy: Wow. I like half-a-beer Audrey.
Audrey: Enjoy it. Full-beer Audrey might dance on the bar.
Mandy: [to the bartender] Can we get another round?

Mandy: I don't think I've ever seen you drink a beer before.
Audrey: Mm, you didn't know me in high school.
Mandy: Oh, really, were you the bad girl at the sock hop?
Audrey: Don't make fun of sock hops. I had my first kiss at the sock hop.
Mandy: Ooh, in the backseat of a car?
Audrey: No, in the front seat. I was a good girl.

Audrey: You know, in all these years I don't think we've ever had a drink together.
Mandy: Well, I used to steal out of your liquor cabinet. Does that count?
Audrey: You know what I mean.

Connor: Okay. This is a song about me and you. [backing track plays] [sings] ♪ ♪ Now this right here's a story ♪ ♪ About a baby and a man ♪ ♪ One day they got together ♪ ♪ And decided to form a band ♪ ♪ Now the baby didn't do much ♪ ♪ And the man wrote all the songs ♪ ♪ But it didn't seem to matter ♪ ♪ With how well they got along ♪ ♪ Baby-man, baby-man ♪ ♪ One member is a baby ♪ ♪ And the other is a man ♪ ♪ Baby-man, baby-man ♪ ♪ Believe me you will never see ♪ ♪ A spectacle so grand ♪

Connor: [answers phone] Hello?
Georgie: Hey, Connor, it's Georgie. Can I talk to Mandy?
Connor: She went out with my mom.
Georgie: Who's watchin' the baby?
Connor: I am.
Georgie: You know how to do that?
Connor: No, but I'm learning on the job.
Georgie: Okay, well, keep in mind that's the only kid I got.
Connor: Not to worry, we're having a great time rocking out.
Georgie: I'll try again later.
Connor: Bye. [hangs up]

Audrey: You know what'd be fun? Let's you and me go out and have a drink.
Mandy: Uh, hello, I have a baby.
Audrey: I know, but Connor can watch CeeCee for an hour or two.
Mandy: Uh...
Audrey: Come on, I'm buying.
Mandy: Fine.
Audrey: Great! We can tell people we're sisters.