Georgie: Well, this is a sad sight.
Frank: What took so long?
Georgie: Sorry. Had to fix a couple flats over on Main. What's the trouble?
Frank: Don't know. It just conked out.
Georgie: Well, you buy a foreign car, you take your chances.
Frank: It's British.
Georgie: [British accent] We're saying the same thing, gov'nah.
Officer Gilroy: Hey, Georgie.
Georgie: Oh, hey, Lisa. Thanks for the call.
Officer Gilroy: Thanks for the softball uniforms.

Frasier: [on TV] In order to prevent spillage, one does not simply twist out the cork. [shouts] Oh, God!
Georgie: Frasier's a laughing show. I like laughing shows.
Audrey: What are you talking about?
Georgie: Well, some shows you can hear people laughing, and some you can't. Wonder Years, no one's laughing. Is it funny? We'll never know.
Audrey: I prefer to laugh when I choose to.
Georgie: Really? I ain't never seen you laugh. [Jim laughs]

Georgie: You know, there's a Bible study Wednesday. You want to come?
Mandy: Oh, wow, we really need to work on your dirty talk.
Georgie: [chuckles] Sorry, I just think you really might like it.
Mandy: Thanks, but I don't need to watch you sell tires to a bunch of Bible thumpers.
Georgie: It ain't about that. It's actually kind of working.
Mandy: W-What are you talking about?
Georgie: I'm making more money and you want to have day sex. That's everything I've ever prayed for.

[dream sequence:]
George Sr.: Morning.
Georgie: Yeah, good morning.
George Sr.: Something wrong?
Georgie: Yeah. I'm worried if I work myself into the ground, I won't be around for my daughter.
George Sr.: I get that.
Georgie: 'Cause I want to be there when she has kids.
George Sr.: Well, hopefully it's a lot later than when you had kids.
Georgie: From your mouth to God's ears.
George Sr.: I did a good job raising you.
Georgie: You did.
George Sr.: Wasn't easy, 'cause you were a pain in the ass.
Georgie: I thought we were having a moment.
George Sr.: We are, son.

Mandy: Huh, weird.
Audrey: What?
Mandy: Well, this article says to put cabbage leaves in your bra when you're ready to stop breastfeeding.
Audrey: Why would you do that?
Mandy: To help dry up your milk.
Jim: Wh-What happens to the cabbage leaves?
Mandy: That's your question?

Georgie: Good news, my mail's finally coming to this address.
Audrey: Oh, joy. [hits dough with a rolling pin]

Mandy: What's that?
Georgie: My very first credit card.
Mandy: Oh.
Audrey: You never had one before?
Georgie: Nope. Blockbuster card, Subway card. That's it.
Audrey: Not even a library card?
Georgie: [chuckles] Good one.