Audrey: Pretty impressive waiting on all these tables by herself.
Jim: Oh, that's not a surprise, she has six years of college.

Jim: Well, be careful. I own a timeshare in Florida 'cause the saleslady looked like Raquel Welch.
Georgie: I don't know who that is.
Jim: Oh, she was a knockout. Had curves in all the right places. She wore this fur bikini in a movie. Man, I still think about it.
Georgie: Fur bikini?
Ruben: Was she cold?
Jim: Get back to work. [exits]
Georgie: [snorts] "Curves in all the right places."
Ruben: Dude is old.

Jim: Well, here's an idea, how about you take some night classes, brush up on your computer skills and get a nice, cushy office job?
Mandy: Office job? Why did I spend six years getting a degree in Communications?
Jim: I asked that question for six years.
Mandy: Well, I'm not giving up on my dream.
Audrey: No one's saying that.
Jim: I am.

Jim: You know, Georgie's right, when you don't hear people laughing, it's hard to know what's funny. [Georgie and Mandy's First Marriage studio audience laughs]

Ruben: [whistling a tune] Lincoln's done.
Jim: Great. Get started on the Caddy.
Ruben: Yeah. Before that, how about we talk about my raise?
Jim: What makes you think you're getting a raise?
Ruben: [chuckles] I mean, look around. I'm all you got.
Jim: Really? You're gonna use this whole Georgie situation to squeeze me?
Ruben: I thought that was clear, yes.
Jim: I'll take it under consideration.
Ruben: Don't take too long. I hear Fagenbacher's hiring. [short chuckle] [whistling a tune]
Jim: Quit whistling.
Ruben: No.

Jim: You're workin' for Fagenbacher?
Georgie: What can I say? He knows talent when he sees it.
Audrey: Freddy gave you a job?
Mandy: Please don't say "Freddy" and "job" in the same sentence.

Georgie: Your dad's being a jerk.
Mandy: Maybe, but we still have to live under his roof. At least until we make some money.
Georgie: Don't worry about money. I'll get another job.
Mandy: You sure about that?
Georgie: Positive. Before you know it, we'll be in a giant house of our own.
Mandy: Right, the one with the pool shaped like a tire.
Georgie: Exactly.
Mandy: Which is just a circle.
Georgie: There's a hot tub in the middle. It'll make sense when you see it.