Georgie: When you got married, did you still have other friends?
Jim: Oh, yeah, tons.
Georgie: What about after you had kids?
Jim: Oh, no, life as I knew it ended.
Georgie: But you were fine with that, right?
Jim: I get the feeling you want me to say yes.

Jim: Well, be careful. I own a timeshare in Florida 'cause the saleslady looked like Raquel Welch.
Georgie: I don't know who that is.
Jim: Oh, she was a knockout. Had curves in all the right places. She wore this fur bikini in a movie. Man, I still think about it.
Georgie: Fur bikini?
Ruben: Was she cold?
Jim: Get back to work. [exits]
Georgie: [snorts] "Curves in all the right places."
Ruben: Dude is old.

Jim: Well, here's an idea, how about you take some night classes, brush up on your computer skills and get a nice, cushy office job?
Mandy: Office job? Why did I spend six years getting a degree in Communications?
Jim: I asked that question for six years.
Mandy: Well, I'm not giving up on my dream.
Audrey: No one's saying that.
Jim: I am.

Jim: You know, Georgie's right, when you don't hear people laughing, it's hard to know what's funny. [Georgie and Mandy's First Marriage studio audience laughs]

Jim: Okay. We know it's not a tangible object.
Audrey: It can't be bought. It's odorless. And it's in this room right now.
Jim: We only have one question left. We have to guess.
Audrey: What are you thinking? [Jim whispers in Audrey's ear] Agreed. Go for it.
Jim: Are you time?
Connor: Ooh, good guess.
Jim: Did we get it?
Connor: No.
Jim: Son of a bitch!
Audrey: Damn it!
Jim: So, what was it?
Connor: Sorry, you're out of questions.
Jim: You're really not gonna tell us?
Connor: Thanks for playing. [exits]
Audrey: You get back here right now and you tell us!
Jim: I don't know why you like him.

Mandy: Can't believe I just spent my Friday night playing bridge with my parents. I'm a hundred years old.
Georgie: Guess that makes me only 89. Sorry.

Georgie: In the meantime, you're looking pretty good for an old lady.
Mandy: Oh, really? Is that so?
Georgie: That is so. What do you say I get you out of them bloomers and see what happens?
Mandy: "Bloomers"?
Georgie: Ain't that what you old biddies wear under your frock?
Mandy: Please stop talking.