Jim: You know how to use the fabric softeners and whatnot?
Connor: There's instructions on the bottle.
Jim: Right. Good for you. So all these years your mother did your laundry, you were perfectly capable of doing it yourself?
Connor: Yes.
Jim: Why didn't you ever do it?
Connor: No one asked me.
Jim: So if I asked you to... clean the bathroom, do the dishes, take out the garbage, you would?
Connor: Yes.
Jim: [chuckles softly] Okay. Well, then... do those things.
Connor: Okay.
Jim: [quietly to himself] This is crazy.

Connor: Okay. This is a song about me and you. [backing track plays] [sings] ♪ ♪ Now this right here's a story ♪ ♪ About a baby and a man ♪ ♪ One day they got together ♪ ♪ And decided to form a band ♪ ♪ Now the baby didn't do much ♪ ♪ And the man wrote all the songs ♪ ♪ But it didn't seem to matter ♪ ♪ With how well they got along ♪ ♪ Baby-man, baby-man ♪ ♪ One member is a baby ♪ ♪ And the other is a man ♪ ♪ Baby-man, baby-man ♪ ♪ Believe me you will never see ♪ ♪ A spectacle so grand ♪

Audrey: How's your music going?
Connor: Excellent. I'm working on a piece in seven-four time. ♪ One-two-three, one-two, one-two ♪ ♪ One-two-three, one-two, one-two. ♪ It's impossible to dance to.

Connor: Mother, can I borrow your car?
Audrey: Why?
Connor: I need to drive to a music store in Houston to get a 12AT7 dual-triode vacuum tube for my amp.
Audrey: I need my car. Does it have to be today?
Connor: If I wait too long, they might sell out.
Mandy: No one's buying weird vacuum tubes but you.
Connor: If you could only hear how foolish you sound.

Georgie: Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. Hmm. That explains a lot. Have you read it?
Ms. Hutchins: Several times.
Georgie: Did it work?
Ms. Hutchins: Yes, my love life is fantastic. Do you want the book or not?
Georgie: Sure. I'm young and married, you're old and alone. It's funny how things work out.
Ms. Hutchins: Hilarious.

Ms. Hutchins: Georgie?
Georgie: Ms. Hutchins? You quit working at the high school?
Ms. Hutchins: No, I do both. This one for the money, high school librarian for the glamour. What brings you by?
Georgie: I'm kind of looking for a book on relationships. My wife and I are having a bit of a spat.
Ms. Hutchins: You're married?
Georgie: Got a baby, too.
Ms. Hutchins: Oh, you knocked her up. That makes more sense.

Georgie: Speaking of making sense, you got any books that explain women or marriage or whatever it is I did wrong?
Ms. Hutchins: Oh. I have just the thing.
Georgie: You married?
Ms. Hutchins: Me? Oh, I'm too busy having fun to settle down.