Rita: Love what you've done with the place.
Georgie: That was all Mrs. McAllister.
Audrey: Oh, it was a team effort, and you know it.
Rita: Well, it looks great.
[Georgie and Audrey share a pleased look at Jim]
Jim: Oh, she ain't a customer. That don't count.

Jim: Well, be careful. I own a timeshare in Florida 'cause the saleslady looked like Raquel Welch.
Georgie: I don't know who that is.
Jim: Oh, she was a knockout. Had curves in all the right places. She wore this fur bikini in a movie. Man, I still think about it.
Georgie: Fur bikini?
Ruben: Was she cold?
Jim: Get back to work. [exits]
Georgie: [snorts] "Curves in all the right places."
Ruben: Dude is old.

Jim: Well, here's an idea, how about you take some night classes, brush up on your computer skills and get a nice, cushy office job?
Mandy: Office job? Why did I spend six years getting a degree in Communications?
Jim: I asked that question for six years.
Mandy: Well, I'm not giving up on my dream.
Audrey: No one's saying that.
Jim: I am.

Jim: You know, Georgie's right, when you don't hear people laughing, it's hard to know what's funny. [Georgie and Mandy's First Marriage studio audience laughs]

Ruben: Why are you reading Cosmo?
Georgie: Trying to learn how women think. Did you know there's a lot of dirty stuff in here?
Ruben: Are there pictures?
Georgie: Sometimes.
Ruben: Hmm.
Georgie: Listen to this, "The Health Benefits of Sex." "Travels in His... Erogenous Zone"? I don't know what that is.

Mandy: I don't know, Georgie, it kind of seems like the frog and the boiling water.
Georgie: What's that?
Mandy: Well, it's a metaphor. The frog is in a pot of water, and the heat gets turned up little by little so it doesn't notice it's boiling.
Georgie: Who's boiling a frog?
Mandy: It doesn't matter.
Georgie: Are they making frog soup?
Mandy: It's not a real thing.
Georgie: Oh, good, 'cause I would not eat frog soup.
Mandy: I-I'm just saying, my mom's gradually starting to like you, so maybe don't turn up the heat too fast.

Georgie: I figure, with just a few changes, we could be the only woman-friendly tire store in town.
Mandy: This ought to be good. What changes?
Georgie: For starters, we got some lady magazines for the waiting area.
Jim: And flavored creamers for the coffee.
Georgie: Fat-free. Y'all like fat-free.