Mandy: Huh, weird.
Audrey: What?
Mandy: Well, this article says to put cabbage leaves in your bra when you're ready to stop breastfeeding.
Audrey: Why would you do that?
Mandy: To help dry up your milk.
Jim: Wh-What happens to the cabbage leaves?
Mandy: That's your question?

Georgie: Good news, my mail's finally coming to this address.
Audrey: Oh, joy. [hits dough with a rolling pin]

Mandy: What's that?
Georgie: My very first credit card.
Mandy: Oh.
Audrey: You never had one before?
Georgie: Nope. Blockbuster card, Subway card. That's it.
Audrey: Not even a library card?
Georgie: [chuckles] Good one.

Georgie: This is going right next to my driver's license. [opens wallet]
Mandy: Maybe it's time to retire the Velcro.
Georgie: Why? It still works. [opens and closes wallet]

Jim: Now you just be careful. Those cards can get you in trouble.
Audrey: Mm, Amanda knows a thing or two about that. Don't you, Amanda?
Georgie: Oh, yeah?
Mandy: Well, when I was younger I-I got a little carried away, but I learned my lesson.
Georgie: Younger like my age?
Mandy: Yes.
Georgie: So a long time ago.
Mandy: Yes.

Georgie: Geez, CeeCee. How'd you get food in your hair?
Jim: Yeah, I miss when she was bald. It was our thing.

Mandy: Okay, no more credit card talk around Georgie.
Audrey: I assumed you told him.
Mandy: Well, you assumed wrong.
Jim: Don't you think he has a right to know?
Mandy: Of course he does.
Jim: So what's the holdup?
Mandy: He thinks I'm perfect. Why would I take that away from him?

Connor: I have a secret of my own.
Mandy: Oh, good for you.
Connor: Would you like to hear it?
Mandy: Not really.
Connor: I've been corresponding with Tonight Show host Jay Leno.
Jim: Seriously?
Connor: We share a birthday. I sent him a card, he responded, an unlikely friendship was born.
Mandy: Oh, please, why would he be friends with you?
Connor: Simple. He's a man of the people, and I'm people.

Jim: I share a birthday with Bryant Gumbel. [Audrey turns around but offers no reaction] Oh, come on, that's cool.

Mandy: Haven't done this in a while.
Georgie: Got to take the new credit card out for a spin.
Mandy: Well, let's not go crazy.
Georgie: Don't worry. After tonight, it's back to the dollar menu at Taco Bell.
Mandy: Hey, I happen to love the dollar menu.
Georgie: Girl, you better save that sexy talk for when we get home.

Georgie: And I know how these credit card companies work. Get people to run up a bill, spend the rest of their life paying off the interest like chumps.
Mandy: Well... I don't know if I'd call them "chumps."
Georgie: Good thing you learned your lesson.
Mandy: Mm-hmm. [wipes her brow]
Georgie: You okay? You're lookin' a little sweaty.
Mandy: Oh, it's, uh-- it's the salsa. It's kind of hot.

Georgie: My dad taught me real early: never a lender or a borrower be. That's in the Bible.
Mandy: Uh, that's actually Shakespeare.
Georgie: Well, that ain't where my dad heard it.
Mandy: Well, what else did your dad teach you?
Georgie: Hmm, let's think. Oh, you'll like this one. The secret to findin' out how your wife's gonna look when she's older is to check out her mother.
Mandy: Oh, ew.
Georgie: What? Your mom's a fox. That works in your favor.
Mandy: Oh, here it comes again. Oh, ew.

Georgie: Dang.
Mandy: Right back at ya, cowboy.
Georgie: I'm gonna sleep good tonight.
Mandy: So you're happy?
Georgie: The happiest.
Mandy: Cool, there's something we need to talk about.
Georgie: I'm sorry I called your mom hot. Can we just drop it?

Mandy: No, i-it's not that. Um, remember that trouble I told you about when I was younger with the credit cards?
Georgie: Yeah.
Mandy: And I-I told you I learned my lesson?
Georgie: Uh-huh.
Mandy: It's more of an ongoing lesson.
Georgie: What do you mean?
Mandy: Well, it means I still have a little bit of credit card debt.
Georgie: How much we talkin'?
Mandy: Well...
[cut to Audrey and Jim reading in bed together:]
Georgie: [o.s.] $12,000?!
Jim: I guess she told him.

Mandy: Quiet, you're gonna wake the baby.
Georgie: How could you not tell me?
Mandy: Because it's my problem.
Georgie: We're married now. That makes it our problem. [gasps] You only had sex with me to butter me up!
Mandy: Well, think about how mad you'd be if I didn't.

Georgie: You should've told me before we got married.
Mandy: Yeah, well, I-I was taking care of it.
Georgie: How?
Mandy: You just, you send 'em 20 bucks a month per card and they kind of leave you alone.
Georgie: How many cards are there?
Mandy: A couple.
Georgie: So two?
Mandy: A few.
Georgie: So three?
Mandy: Some.

Georgie: We been talking about moving out and gettin' our own place. How is that ever gonna happen?
Mandy: I don't know, but we'll figure it out.
Georgie: I cannot believe this.
Mandy: I'm so sorry.
Georgie: You should be.
Mandy: Well, let me make it up to you.
Georgie: [rolls over] No, cut it out! The Georgie store is closed.

Jim: Yeah, I never thought Mandy'd be the one to blow this up.
Audrey: Me, neither. But I'll take it.

Jim: Mornin'.
Georgie: Hey.
Jim: Sure is humid out there. Gonna make my hair all frizzy.
Georgie: You gonna pretend like you didn't hear us fightin' last night?
Jim: That was my plan, yes.
Georgie: Did you know about the credit cards?
Jim: Uh... yeah.
Georgie: Didn't think to give me a heads-up?
Jim: Oh, I thought about... Ooh, cinnamon. Yum.

Georgie: Hey, Ruben, let me ask you a question. If you knew a secret that affected a family member, you'd tell him, right?
Jim: What are you pulling him into this for?
Georgie: I'd like a fresh perspective. Well?
Ruben: Well, what kind of secret? A little white lie, or your sister's actually your mom?
Georgie: That's a thing?
Ruben: When you're 16, pregnant and Catholic, yeah.