Audrey: So... I couldn't help overhearing you and Georgie arguing last night.
Mandy: You were eavesdropping?
Audrey: Eavesdropping is when you want to listen. Overhearing is when you have no choice.

Connor: Mother, can I borrow your car?
Audrey: Why?
Connor: I need to drive to a music store in Houston to get a 12AT7 dual-triode vacuum tube for my amp.
Audrey: I need my car. Does it have to be today?
Connor: If I wait too long, they might sell out.
Mandy: No one's buying weird vacuum tubes but you.
Connor: If you could only hear how foolish you sound.

Ruben: Hold this.
Georgie: What is it?
Ruben: Transmission fluid recirculator.
Georgie: Hmm. Got it.
Ruben: Do not let go.
Georgie: Why? What'll happen?
Ruben: Bad things. Very bad things. [walks off]
Georgie: Where you going?
Ruben: Be right back.
Georgie: Okeydoke.

Jim: Well, here's an idea, how about you take some night classes, brush up on your computer skills and get a nice, cushy office job?
Mandy: Office job? Why did I spend six years getting a degree in Communications?
Jim: I asked that question for six years.
Mandy: Well, I'm not giving up on my dream.
Audrey: No one's saying that.
Jim: I am.

Connor: Good news, got the vacuum tube.
Audrey: Ooh, that's great, honey.
Connor: The, uh, owner of the store was a roadie for Bob Seger. He's got a cat named Night Moves. She had a lot of nipples.
Mandy: That's a weird thing to say.
Connor: It was a weird thing to see.

Dr. Hill: You under a lot of stress?
Georgie: I guess. Nothing I can't handle.
Dr. Hill: Well, high levels of anxiety can produce physical symptoms.
Georgie: "Anxiety"? Please, that's just some New York nonsense.
Dr. Hill: Trust me, even Texans can suffer from it.
Georgie: Maybe them hippies in Austin. Not here.

Georgie: Have at it.
Missy Cooper: Not with you listening.
Georgie: Oh. Right. [walks off]
Missy Cooper: Hi, Dad. There's some stuff I should tell you. For starters, I'm pregnant and my math teacher is the father.
Georgie: [o.s.] What?!
Missy Cooper: I knew you were listening.
Georgie: Sorry.

Missy Cooper: [sighs] I'm not pregnant, I just got suspended. Mom doesn't know, she thinks I'm in school right now. With you gone, Sheldon gone, I'm alone a lot. It's way easier to get away with stuff... ...but it kind of sucks. [exhales] I really miss you. [sniffles]
[cut to Missy crying in the passenger's seat as Georgie drives her home:]
Georgie: Feel better?
Missy Cooper: No, you jerk!

Georgie: Hey, Dad. On my way to work. Thought I'd stop and say hi. Things are all good down here. I'm sure they're good up there, 'cause, you know, heaven and such. Looked in on Mom and Missy yesterday. They're doing all right, considering... your new address. Oh, get this. I had to ship a pack of Underoos to Sheldon 'cause he couldn't find the Batman kind in Pasadena. What else? CeeCee's amazing. Starting to stand up. Trying to walk. Kind of looks like you after a case of beer. And Mandy, she's looking for a job as a TV reporter, which has been, let's just say, a hoot.

Georgie: Hey. How'd the interview go?
Mandy: It didn't.
Georgie: What's that mean?
Mandy: It means I put on control-top pantyhose and I drove across town just to find out they hired some 22-year-old ditz.
Georgie: Guy ditz or girl ditz?
Mandy: What's a guy ditz?
Georgie: I don't know. Gilligan?
Mandy: Well, this one was a girl, and she only got the job because she's young and perky.
Georgie: You're perky.
Mandy: [scoffs] I'm young, too.

Georgie: Given any more thought to carrying those new Korean tires?
Jim: Oh, I appreciate the idea, but my dad fought in Korea. Just feels wrong.
Georgie: I'm pretty sure these are the good Koreans.
Jim: Doesn't matter, I don't want to piss off the blimp guys.

Georgie: I was just rushing to pick up my sister 'cause my mom had a church thing and Missy didn't want to go to the church thing 'cause she had a friends thing and they were fighting and, as you can imagine, it was a whole thing.
Jim: I get it, mistakes happen.
Georgie: You don't have to be nice to me just 'cause I'm your son-in-law. I screwed up, let me have it.
Jim: I thought I was letting you have it.
Georgie: No, you're being nice.
Jim: Oh. I'm sorry.
Georgie: Don't apologize. I should be apologizing to you.
Jim: Well, you already did.
Georgie: Yeah, but then you were nice and ruined it.
Jim: J-Just open the store.
Georgie: "Just open the store..."
Jim: Dumbass.
Georgie: Was that so hard?

Mandy: Couples fight. It's not a big deal.
Audrey: Have you ever heard your father and I raise our voices at one another?
Mandy: No.
Audrey: And do you know why?
Mandy: 'Cause you squashed the life out of him?

Mandy: It's not Georgie's fault. I'm just frustrated trying to find a job.
Audrey: You ever think instead of the TV news, you try the local paper?
Mandy: [scoffs] Look at this face. I'm on-camera talent.

Georgie: [exhales] [strains] Hello? Anybody? Ruben!
Jim: [enters] Georgie. Your sister's on the phone.
Georgie: I'm gonna have to call her back.
Jim: What are you doing?
Georgie: I'm holding the transmission fluid recirculator.
Jim: The what?
Georgie: Ruben said if I let it fall, bad things will happen.
Jim: [on the phone] Missy, hang on a sec. [to Georgie] Son, there is no such thing as a transmission fluid recirculator.
Georgie: Then what am I holding?
Jim: I have no idea.

Georgie: [on the phone] What'd you do?
Missy Cooper: It's not that big a deal.
Georgie: Getting suspended's a big deal.
Missy Cooper: Are you coming or not?
Georgie: I can't just drop everything, I have a job.
Missy Cooper: Forget it, I'll hitch. If I never see you again, don't blame yourself.
Georgie: I'm on my way.

Georgie: What were you thinking?
Missy Cooper: I was thinking I didn't want to take the test.
Georgie: So cut class, don't pull a fire alarm.
Missy Cooper: Next time, I'll know better.
Georgie: No next time. And how do you think you're gonna keep this from Mom?
Missy Cooper: Easy. I pretend to go to school in the morning and pretend to come home in the afternoon.
Georgie: The school's gonna call the house.
Missy Cooper: No problem. [as Mary] "Hi, this is Mary Cooper, Jesus loves you. What'd she do? Don't you worry, I will pray the devil right out of that rascal."
Georgie: That's not gonna work.
Missy Cooper: It did last time I got suspended.

Georgie: Come on. You got a good head on your shoulders, why don't you try using it?
Missy Cooper: Listen to you. You sound like Dad.
Georgie: Well, you know, genetics. [Missy laughs softly] What?
Missy Cooper: That's what the test was on. Genetics.

Missy Cooper: What're you taking Tums for?
Georgie: My stomach.
Missy Cooper: What's wrong with your stomach?
Georgie: Nothing. Just ate something ain't sitting right.
Missy Cooper: You should try smoking weed.
Georgie: You're smoking pot now?
Missy Cooper: Why? You got some?
Georgie: No.
Missy Cooper: You want some?

Mandy: You're still pretending he's fine?
Audrey: He is fine. He just has a unique view of the world. Right, Jim?
Jim: "Unique" is the word we agreed to use.