Mandy: Can't believe I just spent my Friday night playing bridge with my parents. I'm a hundred years old.
Georgie: Guess that makes me only 89. Sorry.

Mandy: When did this become our life?
Georgie: What's wrong with spending time with your folks?
Mandy: Nothing, I just miss having a social life.
Georgie: We have a social life. We got your mom, dad, brother, my mom, meemaw, sister...
Mandy: Okay, okay.
Georgie: And if you count our TV friends, we got Tony Danza, Frasier...
Mandy: Stop.

Georgie: In the meantime, you're looking pretty good for an old lady.
Mandy: Oh, really? Is that so?
Georgie: That is so. What do you say I get you out of them bloomers and see what happens?
Mandy: "Bloomers"?
Georgie: Ain't that what you old biddies wear under your frock?
Mandy: Please stop talking.

Mandy: Hey. What are you still doing up?
Georgie: Just watching Rambo III. You'd think it'd answer a lot of questions from I and II, but it don't.

Georgie: Well, just so you know, your daughter and I had a pretty fun night, too. She discovered farting in the bathtub.
Mandy: Aw, and I missed it?
Georgie: Don't worry, if she's anything like her daddy, she'll do it again.

Georgie: "Then he nibbled a hole in the cocoon, pushed his way out, and he was a beautiful butterfly." But you knew that. 'Cause Daddy's read this story 118 times.

Jim: Kind of bummed we lost our bridge partners.
Connor: I'll play with you.
Audrey: That's nice, but it's a four-person game.
Connor: We could play something else.
Audrey: How about Scrabble?
Jim: How about something I'm good at?
Audrey: Reading on the toilet is not a game, Jim.

Connor: I have a game we can play. I'm a thing. You have 20 questions. Go.
Jim: I don't want to play that.
Audrey: I do. Are you a vegetable?
Connor: No. 19.
Jim: What kind of first question is that? It's too specific.
Audrey: I thought you weren't playing.
Jim: I'm not, but if I was, I'd ask a better first question.
Audrey: Like what?
Jim: Like, "Are you a living thing?"
Connor: No. 18.
Audrey: Great question.
Jim: But now we know it's not alive. It is a good question, right?
Connor: Yes. 17.
Jim: You're counting that?
Connor: Yes. 16.
Jim: Oh, come on!

Audrey: Okay, so we know it's not musical. We know it's not a machine. But it is man-made.
Jim: Got to be smart about this.
Audrey: You're the one who wasted two questions.
Jim: Well, they shouldn't have counted.
Connor: But they did, didn't they?

Jim: Okay. We know it's not a tangible object.
Audrey: It can't be bought. It's odorless. And it's in this room right now.
Jim: We only have one question left. We have to guess.
Audrey: What are you thinking? [Jim whispers in Audrey's ear] Agreed. Go for it.
Jim: Are you time?
Connor: Ooh, good guess.
Jim: Did we get it?
Connor: No.
Jim: Son of a bitch!
Audrey: Damn it!
Jim: So, what was it?
Connor: Sorry, you're out of questions.
Jim: You're really not gonna tell us?
Connor: Thanks for playing. [exits]
Audrey: You get back here right now and you tell us!
Jim: I don't know why you like him.

Georgie: What's that old saying? Read 'em and weep.
Audrey: Damn it.
Jim: Good job, partner.
Audrey: Is this really your first time playing bridge?
Georgie: [chuckles] Guess I'm just lucky. I mean, look at the family I married into.

Audrey: Amanda, you need to up your game.
Mandy: [scoffs] I'll do you one better. I'm up and I'm out.
Audrey: You can't quit in the middle.
Mandy: Well, I think I hear the baby.
Audrey: I think I hear a baby, too.

Jim: Oh, come on, Mandy, we're having fun.
Mandy: Are we?

Georgie: Tell you what, why don't we switch partners? I'll play with your mama.
Audrey: Now we're talking.
Jim: Aw, why do I get Mandy?
Mandy: I'm not that bad.
Jim: You are.
Mandy: Am I?
Georgie: Oh, what do I know? I'm just a beginner. [spreads the cards]

Beth: Oh, my God, how long does it take to finish a slice of pie?
Mandy: I know, but it's kind of romantic the way they look at each other.
Beth: What makes you think they're a couple? Maybe they're brother and sister in some kind of sick relationship.
Mandy: [scoffs] What is wrong with you?
Beth: I'm not rooting for it. I said it was sick.

Mandy: It was so nice to hang out with a woman who didn't give birth to me.
Georgie: Well, a couple pretty women at the bar, you must have gotten hit on.
Mandy: Actually, not at all.
Georgie: Oh. Well, they must've saw your wedding ring and didn't want to be disrespectful.
Mandy: Good. Yeah. That's why.

Georgie: When you got married, did you still have other friends?
Jim: Oh, yeah, tons.
Georgie: What about after you had kids?
Jim: Oh, no, life as I knew it ended.
Georgie: But you were fine with that, right?
Jim: I get the feeling you want me to say yes.

Georgie: I don't know, Mandy's just got in my head about us having a social life.
Jim: So? You must have lots of friends.
Georgie: I do. I mean, I did. Maybe I don't.
Jim: Well, hang in there. When CeeCee gets a little older, she'll make friends and you'll pretend to like their parents.
Georgie: Maybe I will like 'em.
Jim: You won't, they're awful.

Ruben: You know, after work on Fridays, me and my buddies play a little half-court basketball.
Georgie: Cool.
Ruben: Yeah, and after we grab pizza and beer.
Georgie: Sounds fun.
Ruben: [chuckling] It is. It really is. [walks off]
Jim: I've gone with them. It's a good time.

Mandy: Well, why don't you come with me? I know Beth wants to meet you.
Georgie: I ain't gonna get in the way of your girl talk?
Mandy: [chuckles] Girl talk? What's girl talk?
Georgie: I don't know. Guys' butts, panties?
Mandy: Put on a clean shirt, you're coming with me.