Frasier: [on TV] In order to prevent spillage, one does not simply twist out the cork. [shouts] Oh, God!
Georgie: Frasier's a laughing show. I like laughing shows.
Audrey: What are you talking about?
Georgie: Well, some shows you can hear people laughing, and some you can't. Wonder Years, no one's laughing. Is it funny? We'll never know.
Audrey: I prefer to laugh when I choose to.
Georgie: Really? I ain't never seen you laugh. [Jim laughs]

Audrey: How's your music going?
Connor: Excellent. I'm working on a piece in seven-four time. ♪ One-two-three, one-two, one-two ♪ ♪ One-two-three, one-two, one-two. ♪ It's impossible to dance to.

Jim: I don't know what to do with that boy.
Audrey: There's nothing "to do" with him. He's just a creative soul.
Georgie: If it helps, I've got some experience with quirky family members.
Mandy: Oh, that is true.
Georgie: Sheldon turned out pretty good, considering majority of the folks can't stand him.
Audrey: Well, what did your parents do?
Georgie: Well, my mom always babied him, and my dad was always mad about it.
Mandy: Yeah, that's exactly what they've been doing.
Georgie: Right. Keep up the good work.

Georgie: I told you, you don't have to call me "sir." Plain ol' Georgie's fine.
Ruben: Look at me, taking orders from "plain ol' Georgie."
Georgie: Hey, I'm not giving orders. I'm just a lowly Smurf working for his lordship.
Ruben: Lowly serf.
Georgie: No, I'm pretty sure it's Smurf.
Ruben: Except one of us is sleeping with the boss's daughter.
Georgie: Whoa. Hold on, partner. I slept with her, got her pregnant, and then married her. The order's a little wonky, but I checked all the boxes.

Mandy: Busy?
Audrey: Just sending the U.S. government more of our hard-earned money to piss away.

Jim: But that's my problem. So, how's the new place?
Georgie: It ain't much, but it's ours and it's temporary.
Jim: Well, look at you, always putting a positive spin on things.
Georgie: May be a side effect of being "dumb."
Jim: Yeah, she didn't mean that.
Georgie: It don't hurt my feelings. With a brother like Sheldon, I've been the dumb one my whole life.
Jim: That's gotta be hard.
Georgie: I like it when people underestimate me. Gives me an edge.
Jim: You are really something.
Georgie: Yes, sir, I am.

Jim: Any chance I can talk you into moving back into the house?
Georgie: I ain't the one that needs convincing.
Jim: Yeah, well, we got time on the clock. We'll figure something out.
[As Jim pats Georgie on the back, Georgie goes in for a hug]
Jim: Whoa. What's this about?
Georgie: Sorry. Sometimes you remind me of my dad.
Jim: Well, that's... that's quite the compliment.
Georgie: I didn't really hug him when I had the chance.
Jim: Then come here. [they hug again]
Ruben: [enters] Aw, damn it.

Meemaw: Mary? To toast the new house?
Mary Cooper: I can toast with ginger ale.
Meemaw: Jesus drank wine.
Mary Cooper: 'Cause they didn't have Schweppes.

Jim: You know, Georgie's right, when you don't hear people laughing, it's hard to know what's funny. [Georgie and Mandy's First Marriage studio audience laughs]

Audrey: So... I couldn't help overhearing you and Georgie arguing last night.
Mandy: You were eavesdropping?
Audrey: Eavesdropping is when you want to listen. Overhearing is when you have no choice.

Connor: Mother, can I borrow your car?
Audrey: Why?
Connor: I need to drive to a music store in Houston to get a 12AT7 dual-triode vacuum tube for my amp.
Audrey: I need my car. Does it have to be today?
Connor: If I wait too long, they might sell out.
Mandy: No one's buying weird vacuum tubes but you.
Connor: If you could only hear how foolish you sound.

Ruben: Hold this.
Georgie: What is it?
Ruben: Transmission fluid recirculator.
Georgie: Hmm. Got it.
Ruben: Do not let go.
Georgie: Why? What'll happen?
Ruben: Bad things. Very bad things. [walks off]
Georgie: Where you going?
Ruben: Be right back.
Georgie: Okeydoke.

Jim: Well, here's an idea, how about you take some night classes, brush up on your computer skills and get a nice, cushy office job?
Mandy: Office job? Why did I spend six years getting a degree in Communications?
Jim: I asked that question for six years.
Mandy: Well, I'm not giving up on my dream.
Audrey: No one's saying that.
Jim: I am.

Connor: Good news, got the vacuum tube.
Audrey: Ooh, that's great, honey.
Connor: The, uh, owner of the store was a roadie for Bob Seger. He's got a cat named Night Moves. She had a lot of nipples.
Mandy: That's a weird thing to say.
Connor: It was a weird thing to see.

Dr. Hill: You under a lot of stress?
Georgie: I guess. Nothing I can't handle.
Dr. Hill: Well, high levels of anxiety can produce physical symptoms.
Georgie: "Anxiety"? Please, that's just some New York nonsense.
Dr. Hill: Trust me, even Texans can suffer from it.
Georgie: Maybe them hippies in Austin. Not here.

Georgie: Have at it.
Missy Cooper: Not with you listening.
Georgie: Oh. Right. [walks off]
Missy Cooper: Hi, Dad. There's some stuff I should tell you. For starters, I'm pregnant and my math teacher is the father.
Georgie: [o.s.] What?!
Missy Cooper: I knew you were listening.
Georgie: Sorry.

Missy Cooper: [sighs] I'm not pregnant, I just got suspended. Mom doesn't know, she thinks I'm in school right now. With you gone, Sheldon gone, I'm alone a lot. It's way easier to get away with stuff... ...but it kind of sucks. [exhales] I really miss you. [sniffles]
[cut to Missy crying in the passenger's seat as Georgie drives her home:]
Georgie: Feel better?
Missy Cooper: No, you jerk!

Mandy: Can't believe I just spent my Friday night playing bridge with my parents. I'm a hundred years old.
Georgie: Guess that makes me only 89. Sorry.

Mandy: When did this become our life?
Georgie: What's wrong with spending time with your folks?
Mandy: Nothing, I just miss having a social life.
Georgie: We have a social life. We got your mom, dad, brother, my mom, meemaw, sister...
Mandy: Okay, okay.
Georgie: And if you count our TV friends, we got Tony Danza, Frasier...
Mandy: Stop.

Georgie: In the meantime, you're looking pretty good for an old lady.
Mandy: Oh, really? Is that so?
Georgie: That is so. What do you say I get you out of them bloomers and see what happens?
Mandy: "Bloomers"?
Georgie: Ain't that what you old biddies wear under your frock?
Mandy: Please stop talking.