Audrey: [over baby monitor] Here you go.
Georgie: [also over baby monitor] Thank you.
Jim: Should we turn it off?
Mandy: No, no, no, turn it up.

Georgie: Like I said, life is good. I've got it all under control. Yeah. All under control.

Audrey: Because we're both adults. [Mandy groans] You married a child, Amanda. You cannot expect him to understand... anything.

Mandy: You know, instead of worrying about Georgie and me... [whispers] ...you should worry about him.
Audrey: There's nothing wrong with your brother.
Mandy: Mom...
Audrey: Nothing!

Georgie: What you doing?
Ruben: Shocks.
Georgie: Cool. You ever worry you'll get crushed under here?

Jim: Everything okay with your sister?
Georgie: Yeah, just some girl stuff. I handled it.
Mandy: Why is she calling you about girl stuff?
Georgie: Why wouldn't she? I'm married to a girl, I have a daughter, [to Audrey] I know you.
Mandy: So, she's all right?
Georgie: Oh, yeah, you know teenagers.
Audrey: She should, she married one.

Jim: Got to tell you, I'm worried about Georgie.
Audrey: What about me? I'm the one who got yelled at.
Jim: I'm always worried about you.
Audrey: You lying dog.

Mandy: [on the phone] So, what's going on with this school thing?
Missy Cooper: Oh, that. [scoffs] Nothing.
Mandy: Okay, well, if you want to talk, I'm here.
Missy Cooper: Fine. I've been falling behind at school and just been feeling- [door rattles]
Mandy: Oh! Georgie's home, got to go. [disconnect tone sounds]

Mandy: You just lost your dad. You got a brand-new baby, your sister's struggling, an unemployed wife, you got no money-
Georgie: Okay, okay.
Mandy: And my mom.
Georgie: Put it that way, it's a miracle I'm still alive.

Mandy: Is there anything I can do to help? Doctor said for sure your heart's okay?
Georgie: Yeah.
Mandy: Want to go find out?

Georgie: Mrs. McAllister, I owe you an apology, I was out of line.
Audrey: Let's just forget it ever happened and have a nice breakfast.
Georgie: You told them, didn't you?
Mandy: I just wanted everybody to take it easy on you.
Audrey: Well, that's what families do, Georgie. We support one another.
Mandy: Wow, you suck at this.

Mandy: Huh, weird.
Audrey: What?
Mandy: Well, this article says to put cabbage leaves in your bra when you're ready to stop breastfeeding.
Audrey: Why would you do that?
Mandy: To help dry up your milk.
Jim: Wh-What happens to the cabbage leaves?
Mandy: That's your question?

Georgie: Good news, my mail's finally coming to this address.
Audrey: Oh, joy. [hits dough with a rolling pin]

Mandy: What's that?
Georgie: My very first credit card.
Mandy: Oh.
Audrey: You never had one before?
Georgie: Nope. Blockbuster card, Subway card. That's it.
Audrey: Not even a library card?
Georgie: [chuckles] Good one.

Georgie: This is going right next to my driver's license. [opens wallet]
Mandy: Maybe it's time to retire the Velcro.
Georgie: Why? It still works. [opens and closes wallet]

Jim: Now you just be careful. Those cards can get you in trouble.
Audrey: Mm, Amanda knows a thing or two about that. Don't you, Amanda?
Georgie: Oh, yeah?
Mandy: Well, when I was younger I-I got a little carried away, but I learned my lesson.
Georgie: Younger like my age?
Mandy: Yes.
Georgie: So a long time ago.
Mandy: Yes.

Georgie: Geez, CeeCee. How'd you get food in your hair?
Jim: Yeah, I miss when she was bald. It was our thing.

Mandy: Okay, no more credit card talk around Georgie.
Audrey: I assumed you told him.
Mandy: Well, you assumed wrong.
Jim: Don't you think he has a right to know?
Mandy: Of course he does.
Jim: So what's the holdup?
Mandy: He thinks I'm perfect. Why would I take that away from him?

Connor: I have a secret of my own.
Mandy: Oh, good for you.
Connor: Would you like to hear it?
Mandy: Not really.
Connor: I've been corresponding with Tonight Show host Jay Leno.
Jim: Seriously?
Connor: We share a birthday. I sent him a card, he responded, an unlikely friendship was born.
Mandy: Oh, please, why would he be friends with you?
Connor: Simple. He's a man of the people, and I'm people.

Jim: I share a birthday with Bryant Gumbel. [Audrey turns around but offers no reaction] Oh, come on, that's cool.