Jim: You know how to use the fabric softeners and whatnot?
Connor: There's instructions on the bottle.
Jim: Right. Good for you. So all these years your mother did your laundry, you were perfectly capable of doing it yourself?
Connor: Yes.
Jim: Why didn't you ever do it?
Connor: No one asked me.
Jim: So if I asked you to... clean the bathroom, do the dishes, take out the garbage, you would?
Connor: Yes.
Jim: [chuckles softly] Okay. Well, then... do those things.
Connor: Okay.
Jim: [quietly to himself] This is crazy.

Audrey: What's going on?
Mandy: My husband thinks I'm an idiot.
Georgie: No, I don't.
Mandy: You just think I suck at sales.
Georgie: Which don't make you an idiot.
Audrey: He's right. "Which don't."

Georgie: Mandy, selling is in my blood. It's what I do. Why can't you just let me help you?
Mandy: Because I wanted to do it on my own.
Georgie: That's just crazy. If I was trying to be a waitress in a diner, I'd ask you for help. Now, see, that right there, that is what an idiot sounds like.

Connor: Bathroom's clean. [goes to the kitchen]
Jim: Attaboy.
Audrey: What did you say to him?
Jim: I just asked.
Audrey: I don't know how I feel about this.
Jim: What's the problem?
Audrey: [sighs] I guess I'm just used to taking care of him.
Jim: Aw. 'Cause he's your baby boy?
Audrey: Yeah.
Jim: Hmm? Well, if it makes you feel any better, you can always take care of me.
Audrey: Oh, it's not the same!
Connor: [enters] Brought you a fresh one, Dad.
Jim: Thank you, son. [Connor exits] [chuckles softly] [to Audrey] It's a tough night for you, huh?

Georgie: Hey. How'd her checkup go?
Mandy: Great, good, she might need glasses. More importantly, I made a ton of sales and I did it all by myself.
Georgie: That's amazing.
Mandy: You're darn right it's amazing.

Mandy: What's that?
Georgie: Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus.
Mandy: You're kidding.
Georgie: They ain't really. It's just a metaphor.
Mandy: [chuckles] Yeah, I got it. Uh, why are you reading it?
Georgie: Well, I'm trying to be a better husband.
Mandy: You'd do that for me?
Georgie: I'd do anything for you.
Mandy: I didn't think that included reading a book.
Georgie: Not just any book a long-ass, boring one.

Audrey: All of their tires, huh? I'm impressed.
Georgie: But...
Audrey: No buts. Way to go.
Mandy: Still feels like there's a "but" coming.
Georgie: You feel it, I feel it, too.
Audrey: You two are impossible.
Mandy: See, that feels better.

Georgie: I was thinkin', how about we take some of my commission and go have a fancy dinner somewhere?
Mandy: No, that's okay, we don't have to.
Georgie: You sure? Celebrate that we're finally makin' some money.
Mandy: You're making some money.
Georgie: You're mad about that?
Mandy: Of course not.
Georgie: 'Cause that'd be a weird thing to be mad about.
Mandy: Yeah, well, I'm not.
Georgie: Good.
Mandy: Yeah, I'm really proud of you.
Georgie: Probably a nicer way to say it.
Mandy: Okay, fine, it pisses me off.
Georgie: There we go.

Mandy: Hi. I'm Mandy McAllister. I'm the NuvoTrim sales rep in this area. I just wrapped things up with your neighbor and she...
Colleen: Which neighbor?
Mandy: Well, right next door.
Colleen: Joan gave you money? She owes me money.
Mandy: Well, I don't really know about...
Colleen: Joan! Joan! [knocks on door] Why are you buying crap from this bimbo when you owe me for the lotto tickets?! [continues knocking] I know you're in there! Joan!

[montage of people opening their apartment door to Mandy:]
Mandy: Hi. I'm Mandy McAllister. I'm the NuvoTrim sales rep in the... [door slams shut]
Mandy: Hi. I'm Mandy McAllister. Uh... [door slams shut]
Mandy: Uh... Hi. I'm Mandy... [door slams shut]
Mandy: [whimpers] [inhales] [door slams shut] I didn't even say anything!

Audrey: If you're not gonna quit, what's the plan?
Mandy: Well, door-to-door's a waste of time. I need to set up someplace people come to me. Maybe in front of a grocery store or something.
Georgie: Lot of foot traffic, people feelin' guilty about junk food. That's smart.
Mandy: Yeah, that's why I said it.
Georgie: Go team.

Audrey: You want to tell him?
Jim: I kind of do.
Audrey: Go for it.
Jim: [gets out of bed] Hey, uh, just so we're clear, I'm gonna tell him we agreed on this. I don't want him coming to you and playing us against each other.
Audrey: Smart.
Jim: All right. [turns back to Audrey] Ooh. What if he gives me a hard time?
Audrey: Then he will have dirty clothes.
Jim: Consequences. That's good.

Georgie: Hey, maybe instead of just launching right into your sales pitch, you try to find something personal you can connect about.
Mandy: I got this, Georgie.
Georgie: Watch this. [to a man who's wearing a Texas Longhorns sweater] Hook 'em, Horns.
Marty: Hell yeah.
Georgie: That game against A&M, they got robbed.
Marty: What's all this?
Georgie: A scientifically designed diet system. Here, try one. Not only tastes great it's developed by doctors to help you drop weight jiffy quick.
Marty: I could probably lose a few. How much?
Georgie: Oh, normally $15. But we're having a special: two for $20.
Marty: Well, then give me two. [an unhappy Mandy grabs the cash from his hand]
Georgie: Get ready to wear smaller clothes, my friend. See you at the beach! [to Mandy] Look at that, your first sale!

Jackie: Don't you love being a mom?
Mandy: I do. She's everything to me. But there are some days where I feel like all I am is "CeeCee's mom." [chuckles]
Jackie: And that is not enough.
Mandy: I have more to offer the world than... changing diapers and blending bananas.
Kim: I get that.
Mandy: You want to know something? I just took a sales job, not because I needed it but because I wanted something I could call my own. And my husband - bless his dumb, redneck heart - swooped in and took it away from me.
Jackie: They think they can fix everything.
Kim: Why don't they get us?
Receptionist: Because they're self-centered sons of bitches.
Mandy: You got that right.

Jackie: So what are you selling?
Mandy: Oh, uh, it doesn't matter.
Jackie: Yes, it does. It matters very much.
Mandy: Oh, uh, well... diet shakes, vitamins, nutrition bars.
Jackie: Oh. I could probably lose a little bit of the baby weight.
Mandy: Oh, well, don't say that. You're beautiful. $15 a box, two for $20.
Jackie: I'll take two.
Kim: Yeah, same here.
Receptionist: I'll take eight.
Mandy: Okay. Hang on. Let me write this down.

Mandy: Yeah, well, what'd you learn?
Georgie: Well, in a nutshell, all you gals want is to be heard and have your feelings validated.
Mandy: Huh. All us gals.
Georgie: Sorry. All you girls. [off Mandy's look] Ladies? Well, I know it ain't "chicks."
Mandy: [scoffs] Well, what about all you fellas?
Georgie: Well, that's interesting. Turns out men are problem solvers. We like to fix stuff. But here's where it gets tricky y'all don't want us to fix stuff. You just want to complain. [Mandy exhales, gets up off the couch, picks up CeeCee and walks away] Whatever you're feeling, I acknowledge it!

Mandy: Hi.
Joan: I told you, I don't want what you're selling.
Mandy: I know. And- and I'm not selling. I just came by to apologize.
Joan: For what?
Mandy: Well, this is hard for me, but I was trying to prove to my husband that I- I'm- I'm more than just a mom. But maybe I'm kidding myself. I mean, maybe that's all I am.
Joan: I had a husband like that.
Mandy: So you understand. I mean, no matter how hard you work, you're always the junior partner in the relationship.
Joan: Second-class citizen.
Mandy: Exactly. Anyway, I'll- I'll leave you alone. I just I wanted to tell you how sorry I am for bothering you.
Joan: Hang on! Tell me about what you're selling.
Mandy: Oh, I'm just so glad you asked!