Frasier: [on TV] In order to prevent spillage, one does not simply twist out the cork. [shouts] Oh, God!
Georgie: Frasier's a laughing show. I like laughing shows.
Audrey: What are you talking about?
Georgie: Well, some shows you can hear people laughing, and some you can't. Wonder Years, no one's laughing. Is it funny? We'll never know.
Audrey: I prefer to laugh when I choose to.
Georgie: Really? I ain't never seen you laugh. [Jim laughs]

Jim: I don't know what to do with that boy.
Audrey: There's nothing "to do" with him. He's just a creative soul.
Georgie: If it helps, I've got some experience with quirky family members.
Mandy: Oh, that is true.
Georgie: Sheldon turned out pretty good, considering majority of the folks can't stand him.
Audrey: Well, what did your parents do?
Georgie: Well, my mom always babied him, and my dad was always mad about it.
Mandy: Yeah, that's exactly what they've been doing.
Georgie: Right. Keep up the good work.

Georgie: I told you, you don't have to call me "sir." Plain ol' Georgie's fine.
Ruben: Look at me, taking orders from "plain ol' Georgie."
Georgie: Hey, I'm not giving orders. I'm just a lowly Smurf working for his lordship.
Ruben: Lowly serf.
Georgie: No, I'm pretty sure it's Smurf.
Ruben: Except one of us is sleeping with the boss's daughter.
Georgie: Whoa. Hold on, partner. I slept with her, got her pregnant, and then married her. The order's a little wonky, but I checked all the boxes.

Jim: But that's my problem. So, how's the new place?
Georgie: It ain't much, but it's ours and it's temporary.
Jim: Well, look at you, always putting a positive spin on things.
Georgie: May be a side effect of being "dumb."
Jim: Yeah, she didn't mean that.
Georgie: It don't hurt my feelings. With a brother like Sheldon, I've been the dumb one my whole life.
Jim: That's gotta be hard.
Georgie: I like it when people underestimate me. Gives me an edge.
Jim: You are really something.
Georgie: Yes, sir, I am.

Jim: Any chance I can talk you into moving back into the house?
Georgie: I ain't the one that needs convincing.
Jim: Yeah, well, we got time on the clock. We'll figure something out.
[As Jim pats Georgie on the back, Georgie goes in for a hug]
Jim: Whoa. What's this about?
Georgie: Sorry. Sometimes you remind me of my dad.
Jim: Well, that's... that's quite the compliment.
Georgie: I didn't really hug him when I had the chance.
Jim: Then come here. [they hug again]
Ruben: [enters] Aw, damn it.

Dr. Hill: You under a lot of stress?
Georgie: I guess. Nothing I can't handle.
Dr. Hill: Well, high levels of anxiety can produce physical symptoms.
Georgie: "Anxiety"? Please, that's just some New York nonsense.
Dr. Hill: Trust me, even Texans can suffer from it.
Georgie: Maybe them hippies in Austin. Not here.

Mandy: Can't believe I just spent my Friday night playing bridge with my parents. I'm a hundred years old.
Georgie: Guess that makes me only 89. Sorry.

Mandy: When did this become our life?
Georgie: What's wrong with spending time with your folks?
Mandy: Nothing, I just miss having a social life.
Georgie: We have a social life. We got your mom, dad, brother, my mom, meemaw, sister...
Mandy: Okay, okay.
Georgie: And if you count our TV friends, we got Tony Danza, Frasier...
Mandy: Stop.

Georgie: In the meantime, you're looking pretty good for an old lady.
Mandy: Oh, really? Is that so?
Georgie: That is so. What do you say I get you out of them bloomers and see what happens?
Mandy: "Bloomers"?
Georgie: Ain't that what you old biddies wear under your frock?
Mandy: Please stop talking.

Mandy: Hey. What are you still doing up?
Georgie: Just watching Rambo III. You'd think it'd answer a lot of questions from I and II, but it don't.

Georgie: Well, just so you know, your daughter and I had a pretty fun night, too. She discovered farting in the bathtub.
Mandy: Aw, and I missed it?
Georgie: Don't worry, if she's anything like her daddy, she'll do it again.

Georgie: "Then he nibbled a hole in the cocoon, pushed his way out, and he was a beautiful butterfly." But you knew that. 'Cause Daddy's read this story 118 times.

Georgie: Ooh, what's this?
Audrey: Well, that's cranberry sauce.
Georgie: Why ain't it shaped like the can?
Audrey: It's homemade.
Georgie: Huh. Maybe next year we should spring for the good stuff.

Georgie: It's a nice car you got.
Valerie: Well, God is good.
Georgie: Oh, you're one of them.
Valerie: "One of them"?
Georgie: I don't mean nothing by it. My mom's one of them, too.
Valerie: Blessed with the abundance of God's love?
Georgie: Yep, definitely one of them.

Georgie: Hey, what do you think about coming to church with me on Sunday?
Mandy: Church? You want pancakes, just tell me.
Georgie: No, this lady I towed last night was telling me how her church is all about prosperity and making money.
Mandy: So?
Georgie: So, those are two of my favorite things.

Georgie: And here's a free air freshener. Has our number right on it. And it smells like apple pie.
Man: How about that? [exits]
Georgie: [into dictaphone] Money making idea: A little pocket in your underwear that you can slide an air freshener into.

Georgie: You know, there's a Bible study Wednesday. You want to come?
Mandy: Oh, wow, we really need to work on your dirty talk.
Georgie: [chuckles] Sorry, I just think you really might like it.
Mandy: Thanks, but I don't need to watch you sell tires to a bunch of Bible thumpers.
Georgie: It ain't about that. It's actually kind of working.
Mandy: W-What are you talking about?
Georgie: I'm making more money and you want to have day sex. That's everything I've ever prayed for.

Valerie: So, what'd you think of Bible study?
Georgie: It's hard to believe, but I liked it.
Valerie: Why is that hard to believe?
Georgie: Well, it's got the words "Bible" and "study" right there in the name.

Georgie: [sings] ♪ Soft kitty ♪ Warm kitty ♪ Little ball of fur ♪ Happy kitty, sleepy kitty ♪ Purr, purr, purr. ♪
Mandy: That is so sweet.
Georgie: I'm trying to get her to sleep so we can fool around.
Mandy: Less sweet.

Georgie: It's kind of exciting, your dad talking about me taking over the store someday.
Mandy: Mm-hmm. You're gonna be the tire king of Medford.
Georgie: Forget Medford. I'm gonna be the tire king of Texas.
Mandy: And does the tire king of Texas still live with my parents?
Georgie: Hell no. He's got a giant house.
Mandy: Ooh. I like that.
Georgie: Oh, and a big old pool in the shape of a tire.
Mandy: So a circle.
Georgie: Well... yeah.