Latest Quotes Page 8 of 20
Quote from the episode A Regular Samaritan
Jim: You know, I think it's time we up your compensation.
Audrey: We already give them free room, board and childcare.
Jim: Yeah, but with the tow truck, he's working day and night.
Audrey: He volunteered, Jim.
Jim: 'Cause he's a go-getter.
Audrey: Well, then he can "go get" another job.
Georgie: Should we jump in here?
Mandy: No, stay out of it, this is how I got a car.
Quote from the episode A Regular Samaritan
Mandy: How was church?
Georgie: Great. I met the reverend. Real nice guy.
Mandy: Mm. Feel more prosperous?
Georgie: Actually, I do. McAllister Auto is now the exclusive tire store for all the church buses and vans. [Mandy gasps]
Jim: You're kidding.
Georgie: Tires, brakes, alignment, the works. In fact, I gave him a ridiculously high price, then knocked ten percent off. He was thrilled.
Jim: How can you not love this kid?
Audrey: He hustled a reverend.
Quote from the episode A Regular Samaritan
Audrey: Remember when you wanted to be a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader?
Mandy: There's still time. [off Jim's look] There is!
Jim: Yeah, and I'm gonna be an aerobics instructor.
Quote from the episode A Regular Samaritan
Valerie: Georgie drives a tow truck and works at a tire shop.
Reverend Travis Lemon: When do you find the time to sleep?
Georgie: I don't. So if it happens during your sermon, don't take it personal.
Reverend Travis Lemon: Hard worker, God rewards that.
Georgie: Speaking of which, I couldn't help but notice you had some church vans out there with bald tires. Be happy to take care of that for you.
Reverend Travis Lemon: Oh, yeah, this is the church for you. Let's talk after the service.
Valerie: I told you. Not even here five minutes and you're already prospering.
Georgie: I guess I am.
Valerie: I'm so happy for you. [chuckles] [hugs Georgie]
Georgie: Okay, more hugging.
Quote from the episode A Regular Samaritan
Valerie: Reverend, this is Georgie Cooper.
Reverend Travis Lemon: Travis Lemon. How are you doing on this glorious Sunday?
Georgie: Depends. You got pancakes?
Reverend Travis Lemon: Better. We got waffles the shape of Texas.
Georgie: Praise the Lord.
Valerie: [chuckles] I got a flat tire the other night and Georgie rescued me.
Reverend Travis Lemon: Ah, a Good Samaritan. Isn't that something?
Georgie: It's my job, so maybe just a regular Samaritan.
Quote from the episode A Regular Samaritan
Cynthia: Welcome.
Georgie: Thank you.
Cynthia: Is this your first time with us?
Georgie: Yes, ma'am.
Cynthia: Well, we are so glad to have you. [hugs him]
Georgie: Oh, okay.
Cynthia: Welcome, welcome, welcome.
Georgie: Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Valerie: Georgie, welcome. [hugs him]
Georgie: [chuckles] Oh, y'all are a huggy bunch.
Quote from the episode A Regular Samaritan
Georgie: I feel a little weird. The only time I ever wore this was my dad's funeral.
Mandy: Well, I'm sure he'd be glad to know you're getting your money's worth.
Georgie: He was thrifty. You know, he's the one who taught me shampoo is really just liquid soap. You can wash your hair with a bar of Irish Spring. Same deal.
Mandy: Is that why your hair smells like that?
Georgie: Mmm, when you first met me, yeah. Now I'm a Zest man.
Quote from the episode A Regular Samaritan
Mandy: You look nice.
Georgie: Thanks. Last chance to come to church with me.
Mandy: Sorry, today's a strict no-bra day.
Quote from the episode A Regular Samaritan
Valerie: So, will I see you on Sunday?
Georgie: Yeah, I think you will. Might be solo. My wife's not real interested.
Valerie: Oh, too bad. But I will be glad to see you.
Georgie: Oh. And I'll be glad to see you... in a churchly fashion. Before I forget, free air freshener.
Valerie: Oh. [sniffs] Apple, the fruit of temptation.
Georgie: Hang on, I got a mango in here somewhere.
Quote from the episode A Regular Samaritan
Valerie: So, is my car ready?
Georgie: Let me check.
Ruben: Yes, ma'am, it most certainly is. My name's Ruben. What's yours?
Valerie: Valerie.
Ruben: Oh, lovely name. Valerie, you're gonna need brake pads on your vehicle, sooner better than later.
Valerie: Thank you. Good to know.
Georgie: Ruben, I got this.
Ruben: I'm just thinking of her safety. Don't you need to call your wife or something? He's married.
Valerie: I know. I'm actually hoping to meet her at church this Sunday.
Ruben: Church?
Valerie: Yeah.
Ruben: Mm, too much work.
Quote from the episode A Regular Samaritan
Georgie: And here's a free air freshener. Has our number right on it. And it smells like apple pie.
Man: How about that? [exits]
Georgie: [into dictaphone] Money making idea: A little pocket in your underwear that you can slide an air freshener into.
Quote from the episode A Regular Samaritan
Georgie: Mandy?
Mandy: Well, Sunday's my one day to sleep in, but if you want to go, you should go.
Georgie: All right. What about you, CeeCee? You want to come to church with Daddy?
Audrey: Hands off, she's Catholic.
Quote from the episode A Regular Samaritan
Georgie: This could also be a business opportunity. Prosperous folks need tires, too.
Mandy: I don't know.
Jim: Now, now, hold on, let him talk.
Audrey: You're okay with him going to church just to sell tires?
Jim: Yes.
Georgie: You want to come with me?
Jim: No.
Quote from the episode A Regular Samaritan
Mandy: We're not really church people.
Audrey: Why would you say that? Of course we are.
Jim: When was the last time we went to church?
Audrey: When Georgie's father... I don't recall.
Quote from the episode A Regular Samaritan
Georgie: Hey, what do you think about coming to church with me on Sunday?
Mandy: Church? You want pancakes, just tell me.
Georgie: No, this lady I towed last night was telling me how her church is all about prosperity and making money.
Mandy: So?
Georgie: So, those are two of my favorite things.
Quote from the episode A Regular Samaritan
Georgie: Morning. Why didn't you wake me?
Mandy: Oh, well, you got in so late, I wanted to give you a break.
Georgie: What did I do to deserve you?
Mandy: [points to CeeCee] This.
Quote from the episode A Regular Samaritan
Audrey: Oh, my goodness, CeeCee, you're getting so big.
Jim: 'Cause she's a Texas baby.
Mandy: 'Cause you keep sneaking her cookies.
Jim: I want her to like me.
Quote from the episode A Regular Samaritan
Georgie: So, what about you? What kind of job gets you a car like that?
Valerie: Oh, um, I work in real estate, but honestly, I owe it all to my church.
Georgie: Really? My mom's church never gave out Mercedes. Once in a while, you'd get free pancakes, but that's about it.
Valerie: [laughs] I'm serious. I mean, I was struggling before I joined my congregation, but now I'm doing great. You know, God wants us to be prosperous.
Georgie: All I remember from Sunday school is, "Thou shalt not have any fun."
Valerie: Well, maybe you're going to the wrong church. You should check us out.
Georgie: Maybe I will.
Valerie: I'm telling you, if you invest in God, He will return that investment tenfold.
Georgie: How's He with debt? 'Cause I got me a few folds of that.
Quote from the episode A Regular Samaritan
Valerie: You are not what I expected when I called a tow truck.
Georgie: Oh, you were waiting on a butt-crack Bubba type?
Valerie: [chuckles] Yeah.
Georgie: Well, sorry to disappoint. Mine is firmly tucked away.
Valerie: So, are you McAllister?
Georgie: Cooper, McAllister's my father-in-law.
Valerie: You're married? You look so young.
Georgie: Well, when you meet the right woman and get her pregnant, you just know.
Quote from the episode A Regular Samaritan
Georgie: It's a nice car you got.
Valerie: Well, God is good.
Georgie: Oh, you're one of them.
Valerie: "One of them"?
Georgie: I don't mean nothing by it. My mom's one of them, too.
Valerie: Blessed with the abundance of God's love?
Georgie: Yep, definitely one of them.
