Connor: Mother, can I borrow your car?
Audrey: Why?
Connor: I need to drive to a music store in Houston to get a 12AT7 dual-triode vacuum tube for my amp.
Audrey: I need my car. Does it have to be today?
Connor: If I wait too long, they might sell out.
Mandy: No one's buying weird vacuum tubes but you.
Connor: If you could only hear how foolish you sound.

Connor: Can I get your opinion on something?
Mandy: Sure.
Connor: I made a song out of the sounds of our house.
Mandy: Cool.
Connor: It's called "The Sounds of Our House."
Mandy: Clever.
Connor: [song of household appliance noises plays] That's the dishwasher. Vacuum. Front door.
Mandy: Huh. This is actually fun.
Connor: I'm actually fun. [CeeCee crying over recording]
Mandy: [gasps] Is that CeeCee?
Connor: She got the solo. [modulated crying] [toilet flushes over recording]
Mandy: So what's your question?
Connor: How great is this?
Mandy: It's pretty great.
Connor: I know.

Audrey: How's your music going?
Connor: Excellent. I'm working on a piece in seven-four time. ♪ One-two-three, one-two, one-two ♪ ♪ One-two-three, one-two, one-two. ♪ It's impossible to dance to.

Mandy: What you doing?
Connor: Uh, a pan in the dishwasher's making a cool rhythm.
Mandy: So, you're not on any drugs at all, this is just you?
Connor: I do take a multivitamin.
Mandy: Are you snorting it? [exits]
Connor: Who needs a drummer? I got a Maytag.

Missy Cooper: [sighs] I'm not pregnant, I just got suspended. Mom doesn't know, she thinks I'm in school right now. With you gone, Sheldon gone, I'm alone a lot. It's way easier to get away with stuff... ...but it kind of sucks. [exhales] I really miss you. [sniffles]
[cut to Missy crying in the passenger's seat as Georgie drives her home:]
Georgie: Feel better?
Missy Cooper: No, you jerk!

Jim: Well, here's an idea, how about you take some night classes, brush up on your computer skills and get a nice, cushy office job?
Mandy: Office job? Why did I spend six years getting a degree in Communications?
Jim: I asked that question for six years.
Mandy: Well, I'm not giving up on my dream.
Audrey: No one's saying that.
Jim: I am.

Audrey: So... I couldn't help overhearing you and Georgie arguing last night.
Mandy: You were eavesdropping?
Audrey: Eavesdropping is when you want to listen. Overhearing is when you have no choice.