Georgie: As for my mom, I can't tell you how many times she's butt heads with my dad, my meemaw, my sister, Sheldon, of course. Heck, once she had a falling-out with Jesus.
Audrey: Poor Jesus.
Georgie: Yeah, hasn't he suffered enough?
Audrey: She ever fight with you?
Georgie: I dropped out of school and got a girl pregnant at 17. What do you think?

Frasier: [on TV] In order to prevent spillage, one does not simply twist out the cork. [shouts] Oh, God!
Georgie: Frasier's a laughing show. I like laughing shows.
Audrey: What are you talking about?
Georgie: Well, some shows you can hear people laughing, and some you can't. Wonder Years, no one's laughing. Is it funny? We'll never know.
Audrey: I prefer to laugh when I choose to.
Georgie: Really? I ain't never seen you laugh. [Jim laughs]

Georgie: You know, there's a Bible study Wednesday. You want to come?
Mandy: Oh, wow, we really need to work on your dirty talk.
Georgie: [chuckles] Sorry, I just think you really might like it.
Mandy: Thanks, but I don't need to watch you sell tires to a bunch of Bible thumpers.
Georgie: It ain't about that. It's actually kind of working.
Mandy: W-What are you talking about?
Georgie: I'm making more money and you want to have day sex. That's everything I've ever prayed for.

[dream sequence:]
George Sr.: Morning.
Georgie: Yeah, good morning.
George Sr.: Something wrong?
Georgie: Yeah. I'm worried if I work myself into the ground, I won't be around for my daughter.
George Sr.: I get that.
Georgie: 'Cause I want to be there when she has kids.
George Sr.: Well, hopefully it's a lot later than when you had kids.
Georgie: From your mouth to God's ears.
George Sr.: I did a good job raising you.
Georgie: You did.
George Sr.: Wasn't easy, 'cause you were a pain in the ass.
Georgie: I thought we were having a moment.
George Sr.: We are, son.

Georgie: You know, when you think about it... [Mandy slaps Georgie's arm] Best not to think about it.

Georgie: I really want to thank you for trying to straighten things out with my mom.
Audrey: I'm glad someone appreciates it.
Georgie: For what it's worth, I think Mandy was a little out of line.
Audrey: I'm used to it. Everything's always my fault.
Georgie: Not true. Getting pregnant... that one, she blames square on me.
Audrey: As do I.
Georgie: She had a little something to do with it, but I'll spare you the details.
Audrey: Thank you.

Mandy: Mary, you know you're always welcome here.
Mary Cooper: Am I? Sure doesn't feel that way.
Audrey: Oh, come down off the cross.
Mary Cooper: Lady, you do not want me to come down.
Georgie: All right, all right, y'all need to cool your jets.
Mary Cooper: Don't worry, I am leaving.
Audrey: Thanks for stopping by.
Mary Cooper: Oh, I'll pray for you, but I do not have high hopes.