Mary Cooper: She is out. "Soft Kitty" works every time.

Mandy: Mary, you know you're always welcome here.
Mary Cooper: Am I? Sure doesn't feel that way.
Audrey: Oh, come down off the cross.
Mary Cooper: Lady, you do not want me to come down.
Georgie: All right, all right, y'all need to cool your jets.
Mary Cooper: Don't worry, I am leaving.
Audrey: Thanks for stopping by.
Mary Cooper: Oh, I'll pray for you, but I do not have high hopes.

Georgie: I really want to thank you for trying to straighten things out with my mom.
Audrey: I'm glad someone appreciates it.
Georgie: For what it's worth, I think Mandy was a little out of line.
Audrey: I'm used to it. Everything's always my fault.
Georgie: Not true. Getting pregnant... that one, she blames square on me.
Audrey: As do I.
Georgie: She had a little something to do with it, but I'll spare you the details.
Audrey: Thank you.

Georgie: As for my mom, I can't tell you how many times she's butt heads with my dad, my meemaw, my sister, Sheldon, of course. Heck, once she had a falling-out with Jesus.
Audrey: Poor Jesus.
Georgie: Yeah, hasn't he suffered enough?
Audrey: She ever fight with you?
Georgie: I dropped out of school and got a girl pregnant at 17. What do you think?

Georgie: [sighs] I thought you might like a little baby time.
Mary Cooper: I would.
Georgie: But first... I need you to fix this mess with Audrey.
Mary Cooper: I'm not the one who needs to fix it.
Georgie: Last time she tried, didn't go so great.
Mary Cooper: That's her fault.
Georgie: I don't care. You two fighting's got to stop.
Mary Cooper: This has nothing to do with you.
Georgie: Yes, it does. I'm sleeping on the couch 'cause of y'all. I woke up at, like, 1 in the morning, some weird guy named "Conan" was on TV.

Pastor Jeff: O-Okay, okay, rather than focusing on past transgressions, why don't we find a path forward? A means by which this family can return to God's grace.
Audrey: Well, I am returning home.
Mary Cooper: Don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya!
Pastor Jeff: Mary!

Audrey: What am I looking at?
Georgie: The Grandmother Agreement. I typed it up.
Mandy: And I fixed the spelling.
Georgie: Anyways, it's a contract. Sheldon used to make these when people weren't getting along.
Mary Cooper: "CeeCee will spend the night at the Cooper house twice a month." I like that.
Audrey: Ooh, and I get doctor's appointments.
Georgie: Which you will lose if...
Audrey: If I refer to Mary as "that woman," or "that kook" or... I prefer not to say this one out loud.
Mandy: And same goes for you... no name-calling, or "bless your hearts." We all know what that means.
Mary Cooper: Fine.

Georgie: You know, when you think about it... [Mandy slaps Georgie's arm] Best not to think about it.

Mary Cooper: You are looking more and more like your daddy every day.
Audrey: [chuckles] I don't know, I see so much of our side of the family in her.
Mary Cooper: No, that's a Cooper nose right there. And I got it.
Audrey: Maybe, but those are definitely Mandy's eyes. [laughs] Which are basically mine, so...
Mandy: Yup. She's a little mish-mash of both of us.
Georgie: The mish is ours, the mash is yours.

Mary Cooper: You know, if y'all have Valentine's Day plans, I'd be happy to watch her.
Audrey: Oh, that is so sweet of you, but Jim and I already agreed to.
Mary Cooper: You two aren't doing something special?
Audrey: Well, of course we are, we are watching our granddaughter. [laughs]
Mandy: Sorry, we would've asked, this just seemed easier.
Mary Cooper: I understand.
Mandy: She's already here and...
Mary Cooper: And I'm a whole ten minutes away. I understand.
Georgie: But St. Patrick's Day, she's all yours. Just don't get her drunk.

Jim: Oh, come on, Audrey, you know I'm right, or you wouldn't even be asking me.
Audrey: I suppose I could see her side of this.
Jim: There you go.
Audrey: After all, she has had a hard year.
Jim: It's big of you to recognize that. [kisses Audrey]
Audrey: And CeeCee does love me more than her.
Jim: So close to sticking the landing.

Mandy: Is it just me or are they getting more crazy?
Georgie: Maybe it's some sort of menopause thing.
Mandy: What do you think that means?
Georgie: When old ladies sweat for no reason and get cranky?
Mandy: Georgie, that is... very accurate, um, but I don't think that's what's happening here.

Mandy: No, you're always giving your mom a pass for everything.
Georgie: Oh, come on, her husband just died, her favorite kid moved away...
Mandy: You?
Georgie: Sheldon. And she's stuck living with my sister, who hates her and hates the world.
Mandy: [scoffs] Missy's just being a teenager.
Georgie: I wasn't like that when I was a teenager.
Mandy: Honey, you're still a teenager.

Audrey: I was thinking about what happened yesterday, and I can understand why you felt left out.
Mary Cooper: 'Cause you left me out?
Audrey: Yes, and that was... inconsiderate of me.
Mary Cooper: Is this an apology?
Audrey: I don't want to fight for CeeCee's sake.
Mary Cooper: But is it an apology?
Audrey: Yes, geez.
Mary Cooper: We do not say "geez" in my church.
Audrey: Sorry.
Mary Cooper: But thank you.

Audrey: You're welcome. Considering the year you've had, I should be more sensitive to your needs.
Mary Cooper: Excuse me?
Audrey: What?
Mary Cooper: "The year I've had"?
Audrey: Well... yes.
Mary Cooper: I do not need your pity.
Audrey: My God, what is your problem?
Mary Cooper: Do not take the Lord's name in vain.
Audrey: I didn't, I was asking him what is your problem?

Georgie: Pass the green beans.
Mandy: Enjoy.
Georgie: I will.
Connor: [from the kitchen counter] They're a little overcooked.

Georgie: She's got a point, Mandy. She did make the effort.
Mandy: What, so now you're defending her?
Georgie: I just know my mom can be real stubborn.
Mandy: Yeah, and I know whatever my mom said she said wasn't what she said, and if it was, then that was not how she said it.

Georgie: But she went to apologize. That's a huge step for her.
Audrey: I wouldn't say huge, but thank you.

Jim: Hey, I got an idea. Why don't we bury the hatchet, invite Mary and Missy over for dinner Sunday. [off Georgie, Mandy and Audrey's looks] Saturday?
Audrey: That woman is not setting foot in this house until she apologizes to me.
Georgie: It does sound like she owes you one.
Mandy: What is wrong with you?
Georgie: What is wrong with you?
Connor: [from the kitchen counter] Now you know why I eat over here.

Georgie: Remember when I used to wear tighty-whities? I've come a long way.