Georgie: Ooh, what's this?
Audrey: Well, that's cranberry sauce.
Georgie: Why ain't it shaped like the can?
Audrey: It's homemade.
Georgie: Huh. Maybe next year we should spring for the good stuff.

Frasier: [on TV] In order to prevent spillage, one does not simply twist out the cork. [shouts] Oh, God!
Georgie: Frasier's a laughing show. I like laughing shows.
Audrey: What are you talking about?
Georgie: Well, some shows you can hear people laughing, and some you can't. Wonder Years, no one's laughing. Is it funny? We'll never know.
Audrey: I prefer to laugh when I choose to.
Georgie: Really? I ain't never seen you laugh. [Jim laughs]

Georgie: You know, there's a Bible study Wednesday. You want to come?
Mandy: Oh, wow, we really need to work on your dirty talk.
Georgie: [chuckles] Sorry, I just think you really might like it.
Mandy: Thanks, but I don't need to watch you sell tires to a bunch of Bible thumpers.
Georgie: It ain't about that. It's actually kind of working.
Mandy: W-What are you talking about?
Georgie: I'm making more money and you want to have day sex. That's everything I've ever prayed for.

Jim: Where'd you learn to play blackjack like that?
Georgie: My meemaw taught me.
Jim: Well, that figures. How much you up?
Georgie: She also taught me to never answer that question.
Jim: Aw, come on, I'll tell you how I did.
Georgie: I watched you play. I know how you did.
Jim: Yeah, well... I'll make it back tomorrow.
Georgie: Not if you keep hittin' on a 12 when the dealer shows a six.
Jim: I had a feeling.

Jim: Maybe next year, we can take CeeCee to the Macy's Parade.
Audrey: [gasps] You're not taking my granddaughter to New York City. She'll come back a Democrat.
Mandy: She's a baby.
Audrey: A God-fearing, Republican baby.

Mary Cooper: This is a nice surprise.
Georgie: Just wanted to drop off some of CeeCee's old clothes for the donation room.
Mary Cooper: Oh. Are you sure you don't want to hang on to these in case you have another one?
Georgie: Oh, we ain't planning on another one just yet.
Mary Cooper: You weren't planning on the first one, either.
Georgie: Fair point.

Meemaw: So, how's it going? My little great-granddaughter saying "meemaw" yet?
Mandy: No, just "dada." Pisses me off.
Dale Ballard: Uh, enjoy it. My kid doesn't even talk to me anymore.
Meemaw: Why bring it up?
Dale Ballard: It's called making conversation.