Missy Cooper: [on the phone] But first, I need a little favor.
Mandy: Anything.
Missy Cooper: Take me to get a tattoo.
Mandy: What? No.
Missy Cooper: You said, "Anything."
Mandy: Yeah, and then you said "tattoo."
Missy Cooper: I guess I'm not going.
Mandy: Oh, come on.
Missy Cooper: I can't decide between a dolphin or a sunflower. What do you think?
Mandy: I am not taking you to get a tattoo.
Missy Cooper: All right, well, maybe I'll see you at Christmas.
[cut to Missy and Mandy at a tattoo parlor:]
Missy Cooper: Ow, it hurts.
Mandy: Good.

Missy Cooper: [sighs] I'm not pregnant, I just got suspended. Mom doesn't know, she thinks I'm in school right now. With you gone, Sheldon gone, I'm alone a lot. It's way easier to get away with stuff... ...but it kind of sucks. [exhales] I really miss you. [sniffles]
[cut to Missy crying in the passenger's seat as Georgie drives her home:]
Georgie: Feel better?
Missy Cooper: No, you jerk!

Georgie: Have at it.
Missy Cooper: Not with you listening.
Georgie: Oh. Right. [walks off]
Missy Cooper: Hi, Dad. There's some stuff I should tell you. For starters, I'm pregnant and my math teacher is the father.
Georgie: [o.s.] What?!
Missy Cooper: I knew you were listening.
Georgie: Sorry.

Georgie: What were you thinking?
Missy Cooper: I was thinking I didn't want to take the test.
Georgie: So cut class, don't pull a fire alarm.
Missy Cooper: Next time, I'll know better.
Georgie: No next time. And how do you think you're gonna keep this from Mom?
Missy Cooper: Easy. I pretend to go to school in the morning and pretend to come home in the afternoon.
Georgie: The school's gonna call the house.
Missy Cooper: No problem. [as Mary] "Hi, this is Mary Cooper, Jesus loves you. What'd she do? Don't you worry, I will pray the devil right out of that rascal."
Georgie: That's not gonna work.
Missy Cooper: It did last time I got suspended.

Jim: Maybe next year, we can take CeeCee to the Macy's Parade.
Audrey: [gasps] You're not taking my granddaughter to New York City. She'll come back a Democrat.
Mandy: She's a baby.
Audrey: A God-fearing, Republican baby.

Mary Cooper: This is a nice surprise.
Georgie: Just wanted to drop off some of CeeCee's old clothes for the donation room.
Mary Cooper: Oh. Are you sure you don't want to hang on to these in case you have another one?
Georgie: Oh, we ain't planning on another one just yet.
Mary Cooper: You weren't planning on the first one, either.
Georgie: Fair point.

Meemaw: So, how's it going? My little great-granddaughter saying "meemaw" yet?
Mandy: No, just "dada." Pisses me off.
Dale Ballard: Uh, enjoy it. My kid doesn't even talk to me anymore.
Meemaw: Why bring it up?
Dale Ballard: It's called making conversation.