Connor: Okay. This is a song about me and you. [backing track plays] [sings] ♪ ♪ Now this right here's a story ♪ ♪ About a baby and a man ♪ ♪ One day they got together ♪ ♪ And decided to form a band ♪ ♪ Now the baby didn't do much ♪ ♪ And the man wrote all the songs ♪ ♪ But it didn't seem to matter ♪ ♪ With how well they got along ♪ ♪ Baby-man, baby-man ♪ ♪ One member is a baby ♪ ♪ And the other is a man ♪ ♪ Baby-man, baby-man ♪ ♪ Believe me you will never see ♪ ♪ A spectacle so grand ♪

Mandy: What you doing?
Connor: Uh, a pan in the dishwasher's making a cool rhythm.
Mandy: So, you're not on any drugs at all, this is just you?
Connor: I do take a multivitamin.
Mandy: Are you snorting it? [exits]
Connor: Who needs a drummer? I got a Maytag.

Audrey: How's your music going?
Connor: Excellent. I'm working on a piece in seven-four time. ♪ One-two-three, one-two, one-two ♪ ♪ One-two-three, one-two, one-two. ♪ It's impossible to dance to.

Connor: Can I get your opinion on something?
Mandy: Sure.
Connor: I made a song out of the sounds of our house.
Mandy: Cool.
Connor: It's called "The Sounds of Our House."
Mandy: Clever.
Connor: [song of household appliance noises plays] That's the dishwasher. Vacuum. Front door.
Mandy: Huh. This is actually fun.
Connor: I'm actually fun. [CeeCee crying over recording]
Mandy: [gasps] Is that CeeCee?
Connor: She got the solo. [modulated crying] [toilet flushes over recording]
Mandy: So what's your question?
Connor: How great is this?
Mandy: It's pretty great.
Connor: I know.

Audrey: Before you leave, would you take a look at the toilet in our bathroom?
Jim: Oh, you just have to jiggle the handle.
Audrey: I prefer not to jiggle, Jim.

Georgie: It's kind of exciting, your dad talking about me taking over the store someday.
Mandy: Mm-hmm. You're gonna be the tire king of Medford.
Georgie: Forget Medford. I'm gonna be the tire king of Texas.
Mandy: And does the tire king of Texas still live with my parents?
Georgie: Hell no. He's got a giant house.
Mandy: Ooh. I like that.
Georgie: Oh, and a big old pool in the shape of a tire.
Mandy: So a circle.
Georgie: Well... yeah.

Georgie: You'll be okay with CeeCee while I'm gone?
Mandy: Of course.
Audrey: Plus, Grandma's here.
Connor: And I can always lend a hand.
Jim: Have you ever even held a baby?
Connor: I've held an accordion. How different can it be?
Jim: You don't squeeze a baby.
Connor: Got it.