Pastor Jeff: Now, Georgie, I know you're upset, but the Bible's pretty clear about how you should treat your parents.
Mary Cooper: It's "honor your mother," not "honor your mother-in-law."
Pastor Jeff: Mary.
Georgie: I get that, but I also made a vow to my wife who has a mother herself.
Mary Cooper: Oh, she's a mother, all right.
Pastor Jeff: Mary! Now, as I was saying, you do need to honor your wife, as well.
Mary Cooper: Who, for the record, is on my side.
Georgie: Only 'cause she don't want to be on her mom's side!
Mary Cooper: Because that woman is a monster. She left me out of CeeCee's "My First Photo Album."
Pastor Jeff: So she's a monster, and he's a Judas because of a baby's photo album?
Mary Cooper: You had to be there.

Meemaw: Mary? To toast the new house?
Mary Cooper: I can toast with ginger ale.
Meemaw: Jesus drank wine.
Mary Cooper: 'Cause they didn't have Schweppes.

Georgie: You know, when you think about it... [Mandy slaps Georgie's arm] Best not to think about it.

Mary Cooper: She is out. "Soft Kitty" works every time.

Georgie: You know, when you think about it... [Mandy slaps Georgie's arm] Best not to think about it.

Georgie: I really want to thank you for trying to straighten things out with my mom.
Audrey: I'm glad someone appreciates it.
Georgie: For what it's worth, I think Mandy was a little out of line.
Audrey: I'm used to it. Everything's always my fault.
Georgie: Not true. Getting pregnant... that one, she blames square on me.
Audrey: As do I.
Georgie: She had a little something to do with it, but I'll spare you the details.
Audrey: Thank you.

Mandy: Mary, you know you're always welcome here.
Mary Cooper: Am I? Sure doesn't feel that way.
Audrey: Oh, come down off the cross.
Mary Cooper: Lady, you do not want me to come down.
Georgie: All right, all right, y'all need to cool your jets.
Mary Cooper: Don't worry, I am leaving.
Audrey: Thanks for stopping by.
Mary Cooper: Oh, I'll pray for you, but I do not have high hopes.