Jim: You need to tighten the clamp around the hose, make sure you get a good seal.
Georgie: How tight we talking?
Jim: Like a belt. You don't want your pants to fall down, but you want to leave room for dessert.

Connor: [enters] Hello.
Georgie: Hey. We're installing a water pump. Want to join us?
Connor: Thank you for the invitation. [Connor goes up stairs]
Georgie: Great. How about that? We're putting together a pit crew.
Jim: That wasn't a yes.
Georgie: Sure it was.
Jim: I'm telling you.
Georgie: Hang on.
[Georgie goes upstairs and knocks on Connor's door. A moment later, he walks back down the stairs.]
Georgie: I stand corrected.

Mandy: Be patient. My mom and I are gonna turn her office into a nursery.
Georgie: You're gonna do a project with your mother?
Mandy: I'm not saying there won't be blood.

Mandy: You know, now that CeeCee's starting to walk, we should think about babyproofing this place.
Audrey: We didn't babyproof the house for you or your brother, and you both lived.
Mandy: Have you forgotten that Connor stuck a butter knife in an outlet?
Audrey: And he lived. Your point?
Mandy: Might explain the way he is.
Connor: You mean my electric personality?

Georgie: Brought dinner.
Mandy: Ooh, meat lovers. What's the occasion?
Jim: Well, thanks to your husband, we're handling all the auto business for the high school. [Mandy gasps]
Georgie: I'm bringin' home the bacon, and the sausage and the pepperoni.

Jim: Got a pretty hefty commission check coming your way.
Georgie: We sure need it, given our ginormous credit card debt.
Mandy: You mean my ginormous credit card debt.
Georgie: I was tryin' to be nice.
Mandy: Try harder.
Georgie: Your ginormous credit card debt does not diminish my love for you.
Jim: That is nicer.

Mandy: It just makes me feel like I'm- I'm not contributing anything.
Georgie: Honey, it ain't a competition.
Mandy: Yes, it is and I'm losing.
Georgie: You want me to earn less?
Mandy: Look, I went to college, I have a Bachelor of Arts degree in communications. I should be making more than you.
Georgie: Well, what's stoppin' you? [Mandy glares at Georgie] Oh, come on, put that diploma to use, talk to me.

Mandy: Can I get you anything else?
Roy: Tea's fine.
Mandy: Mm. You sure? Slice of pie?
Roy: What kind of pie you got?
Mandy: Apple, pecan, lemon meringue.
Roy: Nah, I get my pie from the Waffle House.
Mandy: Right. [sighs heavily]
Roy: I could use some more hot water.
Mandy: Can I get you another tea bag?
Roy: You gonna charge me for it?
Mandy: Yes.
Roy: Water's fine. [Mandy sighs] You charge for lemon?
Mandy: No. [hands him a plate with sliced lemon]
Roy: Thank you.
Mandy: You know, I went to college.

Female D.J.: [on radio] We'll be back with more of today's hits right after this.
Announcer: [on radio] Do you feel like your potential isn't being maximized?
Mandy: Oh, you got to be kidding me.
Announcer: Could you use some extra money?
Mandy: Does a bear crap in the woods?
Announcer: Would you like to be your own boss?
Mandy: I don't care, just say how to do it.

Mandy: So it's basically selling vitamins, and diet shakes, and health bars. And I can make my own schedule so I can keep my job at the diner and I can still be here for CeeCee.
Georgie: Have you ever worked in sales?
Mandy: No, but how hard can it be selling diet stuff to Texans, everybody's chunky.

Mandy: Well, here's the thing you know that old saying, "You gotta spend money to make money?"
Georgie: Uh-huh.
Mandy: Well, there you go.
Georgie: How much?
Mandy: Well, obviously I'd make it back real fast.
Georgie: How much?
Mandy: And keep in mind, sales is all about communication. And what do I have a degree in?
Georgie: Are you gonna tell me or not?
Mandy: It's $1,200.
Georgie: That's my whole commission from the school account.
Mandy: Meant to be, huh?

Georgie: Just so I'm clear, are you competing with me or are we on the same team?
Mandy: [scoffs] How can you even ask that? Of course we're on the same team.
Georgie: Okay, let's do it.
Mandy: Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.
Georgie: Just a word of warnin', sales is not as easy as you think.
Mandy: It's not? I just got you to fork over 1,200 bucks. God, I am so turned on right now.

Mandy: Hi. I'm Mandy McAllister. I'm the NuvoTrim sales rep in this area. I just wanted to introduce myself and see if you had a few minutes to hear about our exciting products.
Joan: How did you get in this building?
Mandy: Oh, well, I waited till somebody was coming out... [Joan slams the door shut]

Audrey: So? How'd it go?
Mandy: Great. Just great.
Jim: It's important to keep in mind, selling is like an art. You know, it takes time to learn the... [off Mandy's look] Somebody else talk.

Georgie: Yeah, when I was young, I tried sellin' door-to-door. It was rough.
Mandy: Yeah, how young?
Georgie: Oh, real young, 16.
Mandy: So three years ago.
Georgie: That's a big chuck of my life. The point is is I got better.
Mandy: Oh, good for you.
Georgie: [to Jim] I see why you stopped talkin'.

Audrey: You spent $1,200 to sell diet food to Texans?
Mandy: Georgie thought it was a good idea.
Georgie: I was tryin' to be supportive.
Mandy: So you were lying?
Georgie: I was supportin'.

Jim: You know, I was thinking, maybe we should buy some of Mandy's diet crap. You know, get her started.
Audrey: Really? Have you forgotten the Girl Scout cookies? The crying, the tantrums. "Daddy, nobody buys my cookies."
Jim: She ended up selling a bunch.
Audrey: To you.
Jim: Oh, like you don't enjoy a Thin Mint out of the freezer.

Audrey: You know, she's not a little girl anymore. You can't keep coddling her.
Jim: [scoffs] You coddle Connor. What's the difference?
Audrey: He's a late bloomer.
Jim: He's 26. He bloomed. This is the bloom.
Audrey: You know very well he requires a little extra love.
Jim: He requires a swift kick in the ass.
Audrey: [scoffs] You don't mean that.

Jim: You could at least make him chip in around the house, you know, maybe do his own laundry.
Audrey: That seems fair.
Jim: Really?
Audrey: Yeah.
Jim: Hmm.
Audrey: What?
Jim: I wasn't prepared to win an argument.

Mandy: Hi! Would you like to sample one of our delicious diet shakes or nutrition bars? [man keeps walking] Okay, maybe on the way out! Hi, ma'am, would you like to sample one of our delicious diet shakes? Not that I think you're fat! 'Cause I don't!
Georgie: Hey.
Mandy: Hey, what are you doing here?
Georgie: Oh, just wanted to come check in on my favorite saleslady. How's it going?
Mandy: Good. Uh, passing out samples, getting people excited about the product. [to woman leaving the store] Oh, excuse me, may I interest you in a free sample of a... [she keeps moving] I'm a person! I have feelings!