Audrey: If you're not gonna quit, what's the plan?
Mandy: Well, door-to-door's a waste of time. I need to set up someplace people come to me. Maybe in front of a grocery store or something.
Georgie: Lot of foot traffic, people feelin' guilty about junk food. That's smart.
Mandy: Yeah, that's why I said it.
Georgie: Go team.

Audrey: You want to tell him?
Jim: I kind of do.
Audrey: Go for it.
Jim: [gets out of bed] Hey, uh, just so we're clear, I'm gonna tell him we agreed on this. I don't want him coming to you and playing us against each other.
Audrey: Smart.
Jim: All right. [turns back to Audrey] Ooh. What if he gives me a hard time?
Audrey: Then he will have dirty clothes.
Jim: Consequences. That's good.

Georgie: Hey, maybe instead of just launching right into your sales pitch, you try to find something personal you can connect about.
Mandy: I got this, Georgie.
Georgie: Watch this. [to a man who's wearing a Texas Longhorns sweater] Hook 'em, Horns.
Marty: Hell yeah.
Georgie: That game against A&M, they got robbed.
Marty: What's all this?
Georgie: A scientifically designed diet system. Here, try one. Not only tastes great it's developed by doctors to help you drop weight jiffy quick.
Marty: I could probably lose a few. How much?
Georgie: Oh, normally $15. But we're having a special: two for $20.
Marty: Well, then give me two. [an unhappy Mandy grabs the cash from his hand]
Georgie: Get ready to wear smaller clothes, my friend. See you at the beach! [to Mandy] Look at that, your first sale!

Jackie: Don't you love being a mom?
Mandy: I do. She's everything to me. But there are some days where I feel like all I am is "CeeCee's mom." [chuckles]
Jackie: And that is not enough.
Mandy: I have more to offer the world than... changing diapers and blending bananas.
Kim: I get that.
Mandy: You want to know something? I just took a sales job, not because I needed it but because I wanted something I could call my own. And my husband - bless his dumb, redneck heart - swooped in and took it away from me.
Jackie: They think they can fix everything.
Kim: Why don't they get us?
Receptionist: Because they're self-centered sons of bitches.
Mandy: You got that right.

Jackie: So what are you selling?
Mandy: Oh, uh, it doesn't matter.
Jackie: Yes, it does. It matters very much.
Mandy: Oh, uh, well... diet shakes, vitamins, nutrition bars.
Jackie: Oh. I could probably lose a little bit of the baby weight.
Mandy: Oh, well, don't say that. You're beautiful. $15 a box, two for $20.
Jackie: I'll take two.
Kim: Yeah, same here.
Receptionist: I'll take eight.
Mandy: Okay. Hang on. Let me write this down.

Mandy: Yeah, well, what'd you learn?
Georgie: Well, in a nutshell, all you gals want is to be heard and have your feelings validated.
Mandy: Huh. All us gals.
Georgie: Sorry. All you girls. [off Mandy's look] Ladies? Well, I know it ain't "chicks."
Mandy: [scoffs] Well, what about all you fellas?
Georgie: Well, that's interesting. Turns out men are problem solvers. We like to fix stuff. But here's where it gets tricky y'all don't want us to fix stuff. You just want to complain. [Mandy exhales, gets up off the couch, picks up CeeCee and walks away] Whatever you're feeling, I acknowledge it!

Mandy: Hi.
Joan: I told you, I don't want what you're selling.
Mandy: I know. And- and I'm not selling. I just came by to apologize.
Joan: For what?
Mandy: Well, this is hard for me, but I was trying to prove to my husband that I- I'm- I'm more than just a mom. But maybe I'm kidding myself. I mean, maybe that's all I am.
Joan: I had a husband like that.
Mandy: So you understand. I mean, no matter how hard you work, you're always the junior partner in the relationship.
Joan: Second-class citizen.
Mandy: Exactly. Anyway, I'll- I'll leave you alone. I just I wanted to tell you how sorry I am for bothering you.
Joan: Hang on! Tell me about what you're selling.
Mandy: Oh, I'm just so glad you asked!

Jim: Shut the door.
Georgie: Am I in trouble?
Jim: No.
Georgie: Am I getting a raise?
Jim: No.
Georgie: Is it about my coffee rule?
Jim: Just sit.

Jim: I have to say, I'm glad you're uncomfortable lying to my daughter.
Georgie: I'm glad you're glad.
Jim: Speaks well of you.
Georgie: I'm a heck of a guy.

Georgie: I got to call Mandy.
Jim: Why?
Georgie: Well, I told her I would when we got checked in.
Jim: Fine, but just keep it short and sweet.
Georgie: I don't know about short, but lucky for you, sweet comes natural.

Mandy: [answers phone] Hello?
Georgie: Hey, just wanted to let you know we made it.
Mandy: Good, good. How was the drive?
Georgie: Fine, fine.
Mandy: Great, great. Big day tomorrow?
Georgie: Yeah. I think we're gonna turn in soon.
Mandy: Sure. Lot of meetings lined up?
Georgie: Yeah, I think so. I'm just following your dad's lead.
Mandy: Yeah, well, he has been to so many of these, you're in good hands.
Georgie: Yep. Well-well, give CeeCee a kiss for me.
Mandy: You got it. I love you.
Georgie: I love you, too. [hangs up]
Mandy: You lying bastard!
Audrey: He didn't tell you?
Mandy: Oh, shut up.

Connor: [answers phone] Hello?
Georgie: Hey, Connor, it's Georgie. Can I talk to Mandy?
Connor: She went out with my mom.
Georgie: Who's watchin' the baby?
Connor: I am.
Georgie: You know how to do that?
Connor: No, but I'm learning on the job.
Georgie: Okay, well, keep in mind that's the only kid I got.
Connor: Not to worry, we're having a great time rocking out.
Georgie: I'll try again later.
Connor: Bye. [hangs up]

Georgie: What do you think Mrs. McAllister's secrets are?
Jim: Hey, I don't know. I don't want to know.
Georgie: Oh, I bet she's got some doozies. Stealing from the store. Sleepin' with the mailman.
Jim: Enough.
Georgie: You don't like thinking about that, do ya?
Jim: No.
Georgie: Good.

Audrey: Where are my shoes?
Mandy: That is a wonderful question.
Audrey: I like those shoes.
Mandy: Uh-huh.

Jim: [phone rings] Oh, this can't be good. [answers phone] Hello?
Audrey: Hello, Jim.
Jim: Audrey?
Audrey: Are you convention-ing? [laughing]
Jim: Uh, we were sleeping.
Georgie: Something wrong?
Jim: Shh. [on the phone] You okay?
Audrey: I'm great. Really great.
Jim: Great.
Audrey: And you're great.
Jim: Okay.
Georgie: What's going on?
Jim: [covers handset] I think she's drunk.
Audrey: Is that Georgie? Hi, Georgie!
Jim: She's drunk.
Audrey: Me and Mandy went out drinking!
Jim: [on the phone] Oh! Well, that sounds fun.
Audrey: I don't know where my shoes are.
Jim: Oh, I'm sure they'll turn up.
Audrey: Okay. [chuckles] Tell Georgie I said hi.
Jim: Will do.
Audrey: Good night, sexy man.
Jim: Good night... [sees Georgie] ...you.

Georgie: You think they're onto us?
Jim: Ah, she would've said something.
Georgie: All right, well, I'm gonna turn in.
Jim: Sure. Wouldn't want to stay up too late and have fun.
Georgie: Mr. McAllister.
Jim: Yeah.
Georgie: No disrespect, but I'm seriously questioning you as a role model.
Jim: That's understandable.

Jim: How 'bout you gals? Sounds like you had a night.
Audrey: What do you mean?
Jim: Well, you called me drunk off your ass.
Audrey: No, I didn't.
Jim: Seriously? You don't remember?
Audrey: Jim, I'd remember if I called you.
Jim: Okay.
Audrey: Okay.
Jim: Ever find your shoes?
Audrey: Oh, my God, I called you.

Mandy: [to Audrey] I got diamonds. You got squat.