Jim: Well, be careful. I own a timeshare in Florida 'cause the saleslady looked like Raquel Welch.
Georgie: I don't know who that is.
Jim: Oh, she was a knockout. Had curves in all the right places. She wore this fur bikini in a movie. Man, I still think about it.
Georgie: Fur bikini?
Ruben: Was she cold?
Jim: Get back to work. [exits]
Georgie: [snorts] "Curves in all the right places."
Ruben: Dude is old.

Valerie: So, what'd you think of Bible study?
Georgie: It's hard to believe, but I liked it.
Valerie: Why is that hard to believe?
Georgie: Well, it's got the words "Bible" and "study" right there in the name.

Audrey: Have you seen that new Friends show?
Mandy: No.
Audrey: All they do is drink coffee. Who can drink that much coffee?
Mandy: I don't know.
Audrey: And their mugs are like soup bowls. Is that a New York thing?
Mandy: Mom, I don't know.
Audrey: I miss Cosby. He was a nice family man.

Mandy: I think it's sweet they have something to do together.
Audrey: Your dad always hoped to rebuild the Mustang with Connor.
Mandy: Seriously? Dad and Connor?
Audrey: Go look in the attic. There's footballs, baseballs, fishing poles, bows and arrows. Your father tried everything. He did not give up on your brother.
Mandy: So what happened?
Audrey: He gave up.

Georgie: [sings] ♪ Soft kitty ♪ Warm kitty ♪ Little ball of fur ♪ Happy kitty, sleepy kitty ♪ Purr, purr, purr. ♪
Mandy: That is so sweet.
Georgie: I'm trying to get her to sleep so we can fool around.
Mandy: Less sweet.

Ms. Hutchins: Georgie?
Georgie: Ms. Hutchins? You quit working at the high school?
Ms. Hutchins: No, I do both. This one for the money, high school librarian for the glamour. What brings you by?
Georgie: I'm kind of looking for a book on relationships. My wife and I are having a bit of a spat.
Ms. Hutchins: You're married?
Georgie: Got a baby, too.
Ms. Hutchins: Oh, you knocked her up. That makes more sense.

Georgie: Speaking of making sense, you got any books that explain women or marriage or whatever it is I did wrong?
Ms. Hutchins: Oh. I have just the thing.
Georgie: You married?
Ms. Hutchins: Me? Oh, I'm too busy having fun to settle down.

Georgie: Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. Hmm. That explains a lot. Have you read it?
Ms. Hutchins: Several times.
Georgie: Did it work?
Ms. Hutchins: Yes, my love life is fantastic. Do you want the book or not?
Georgie: Sure. I'm young and married, you're old and alone. It's funny how things work out.
Ms. Hutchins: Hilarious.

Audrey: Before you leave, would you take a look at the toilet in our bathroom?
Jim: Oh, you just have to jiggle the handle.
Audrey: I prefer not to jiggle, Jim.

Georgie: You'll be okay with CeeCee while I'm gone?
Mandy: Of course.
Audrey: Plus, Grandma's here.
Connor: And I can always lend a hand.
Jim: Have you ever even held a baby?
Connor: I've held an accordion. How different can it be?
Jim: You don't squeeze a baby.
Connor: Got it.

Georgie: It's kind of exciting, your dad talking about me taking over the store someday.
Mandy: Mm-hmm. You're gonna be the tire king of Medford.
Georgie: Forget Medford. I'm gonna be the tire king of Texas.
Mandy: And does the tire king of Texas still live with my parents?
Georgie: Hell no. He's got a giant house.
Mandy: Ooh. I like that.
Georgie: Oh, and a big old pool in the shape of a tire.
Mandy: So a circle.
Georgie: Well... yeah.

Georgie: I can't wait to meet the Hankook tire guys.
Jim: Mm-hmm.
Georgie: I learned how to say "hi" in Korean. Annyeong.
Jim: How'd you learn that?
Georgie: Called Sheldon. He also taught me, hwajangsil-eun eodie.
Jim: What's that mean?
Georgie: Where's the bathroom?
Jim: Why does your brother know Korean?
Georgie: Why does he know Klingon? I've learned not to ask.

Jim: Listen, this weekend's happening. You might as well have fun.
Georgie: Can I even get into a casino? I ain't 21.
Jim: Oh, you're telling me Georgie Cooper don't have a fake ID?
Georgie: You're starting to get on my nerves.
Jim: [laughs] That's what I thought.

Connor: Okay. This is a song about me and you. [backing track plays] [sings] ♪ ♪ Now this right here's a story ♪ ♪ About a baby and a man ♪ ♪ One day they got together ♪ ♪ And decided to form a band ♪ ♪ Now the baby didn't do much ♪ ♪ And the man wrote all the songs ♪ ♪ But it didn't seem to matter ♪ ♪ With how well they got along ♪ ♪ Baby-man, baby-man ♪ ♪ One member is a baby ♪ ♪ And the other is a man ♪ ♪ Baby-man, baby-man ♪ ♪ Believe me you will never see ♪ ♪ A spectacle so grand ♪

Connor: What's wrong with her?
Mandy: Oh, she had a couple beers.
Audrey: I had a couple beers. [slaps Connor's thigh]
Mandy: And a couple shots.
Audrey: Tequila!
Mandy: Is everything okay with CeeCee?
Connor: Sound asleep.
Audrey: [holding Connor's face] Oh, we need to find you a girl so you can have your own babies. [to Mandy] When are you gonna have more? You're not getting any younger.

Jim: Where'd you learn to play blackjack like that?
Georgie: My meemaw taught me.
Jim: Well, that figures. How much you up?
Georgie: She also taught me to never answer that question.
Jim: Aw, come on, I'll tell you how I did.
Georgie: I watched you play. I know how you did.
Jim: Yeah, well... I'll make it back tomorrow.
Georgie: Not if you keep hittin' on a 12 when the dealer shows a six.
Jim: I had a feeling.

Mandy: Okay. Got the baby down. [CeeCee snoring]
Georgie: Listen to her snore. What a beautiful sound.
Audrey: Don't you think it's time she slept in her own room?
Mandy: No. She's fine where she is.
Audrey: I just want her to grow up to be independent.
Jim: Well, now, hang on, when Mandy was a baby, she stayed in our room a good while.
Audrey: Yes, she did. And she's still here, Jim.

Mandy: Hey, if you don't want us, we're happy to leave.
Georgie: Hold on. For the first time in my life, I got my own bathroom. I ain't goin' nowhere.

Mandy: Sooner we get out of here, the better.
Georgie: Well, we're saving money, we got built-in babysitters.
Mandy: I don't care. Every day I'm in this house with her, a little piece of me dies.
Georgie: We just got to make sure it ain't my favorite pieces.
Mandy: Oh, really? And which pieces are those?
Georgie: Oh, don't make me say it. But there's two of 'em.

Mandy: You want to fool around?
Georgie: Really? I thought you were all pissed off.
Mandy: I am.
Georgie: And that turns you on?
Mandy: Maybe.
Georgie: Hmm. This is valuable information. Think we can do it without waking the baby?
Mandy: I can. You're the noisy one. [giggles] [knock at door]
Georgie: Oh, dang it. [opens door]
Jim: Y'all left this on the coffee table.
Georgie: Oh.