Georgie: Morning.
Jim: Wasn't sure I'd see you today.
Georgie: Wasn't sure if I was fired.
Jim: Course not.
Georgie: Is Mrs. McAllister okay with that?
Jim: Course not.

Mary Cooper: I don't understand why they don't just come and live with me.
Meemaw: Maybe they don't like you.
Mary Cooper: Oh, ha-ha.
Meemaw: I'm not joking.

Mary Cooper: Brought you a few things you might need.
Mandy: Ooh, toilet paper, new towels. A toaster? Georgie, look, we got a toaster.
Georgie: Oh, it's got a bagel button. Thank you.
Mary Cooper: There's also a blender here. You can whip up some baby food.
Meemaw: Or margaritas, in case you wanna pretend this is all good.

Georgie: I'll have some.
Mary Cooper: You're not old enough to drink.
Georgie: I'm old enough to have a wife, a baby and a toilet that doubles as a shower.
Meemaw: He needs a drink.
Georgie: Thank you.

Mary Cooper: I hope you know you can always come live with me.
Mandy: Oh, thank you, but it's way past time for us to be on our own.
Mary Cooper: Are you sure?
Meemaw: Take a hint. She doesn't like you. How about a toast? To Mandy and Georgie and CeeCee, and their new home, humble though it be. [train horn blares; everything starts shaking; rumbling]
Georgie: 6:10 to Lubbock, right on time.
Meemaw: [to Mary] They'd rather live here than with you!

Jim: Just so you know, I told Georgie he can keep his job at the store.
Audrey: Really?
Jim: Yeah, really.
Audrey: You don't discuss it with me?
Jim: Why, I didn't wanna have an argument.
Audrey: You didn't wanna lose an argument.
Jim: Same thing.
Audrey: The fact that he ruined our daughter's life doesn't bother you at all?
Jim: Hey, credit where credit is due, okay? He's a kid. If anything, she ruined his life.

Jim: Would you just admit you miss having them here?
Audrey: I do miss my granddaughter.
Jim: Well, good luck with that. I don't see Mandy bringing her by for a lot of visits.
Audrey: She'll come back.
Jim: Not till you apologize.
Audrey: I have nothing to apologize for.
Jim: Nothing at all? Can't think of a single thing? [loud electronic music playing in seven-four time] Well, on the bright side, we still got our baby boy.
Audrey: I can dance to that.

Georgie: Thanks for cooking dinner for my mom and Meemaw.
Mandy: It was good to see 'em.
Georgie: Meemaw tried to slip me money on the way out.
Mandy: Sweet. How much?
Georgie: I didn't take it.
Mandy: Oh, Georgie.
Georgie: I got my pride.
Mandy: Great, we live in a matchbox, but we got pride.
Georgie: A matchbox with a brand-new toaster.

Audrey: I would like you and CeeCee and Georgie to come back.
Mandy: Why?
Audrey: Because... you'll be safer, more comfortable.
Mandy: We're pretty comfortable.
Audrey: You gonna make me beg?
Mandy: I'm gonna make you apologize.
Audrey: I'd rather beg.
Mandy: Okay, then thanks for dropping by.
Audrey: Fine. [clears throat] I may have been less than welcoming, and, perhaps, a little unfair to you and Georgie. And I am very aware... [train horn blares; everything shakes; rumbling] [Audrey continues speaking indistinctly] I know that moving back... [rumbling continues] [Audrey continues] [rumbling stops] Okay?
Mandy: Sorry, didn't get that last part.
Audrey: I'm not saying it again.
Mandy: Apology accepted. Help me pack.

Georgie: [over baby monitor] Real nice of you to apologize to Mandy. I know it meant a lot to her.
Audrey: [also over baby monitor] Good, I'm glad.
Georgie: Although, I am the one you said mean things about.
Mandy: Oh, Georgie, no.
Audrey: Excuse me?
Georgie: You implied the reason CeeCee ain't talking is 'cause her dad is some kind of dumbbell.
Jim: Mmm. Set of brass ones on this kid. [Mandy shushes Jim]

CeeCee: [over baby monitor] Dadda.
Georgie: [also over baby monitor] You hear that? Who's dumb now? Mandy, she's talking! Hurry, get in here!
Mandy: I'm coming!
Georgie: You missed it. She said "Dadda."
Jim: Wow. Smart little girl.
Georgie: Well, you know genius runs in my family.
CeeCee: Dadda.

Georgie: Hey, Dad. On my way to work. Thought I'd stop and say hi. Things are all good down here. I'm sure they're good up there, 'cause, you know, heaven and such. Looked in on Mom and Missy yesterday. They're doing all right, considering... your new address. Oh, get this. I had to ship a pack of Underoos to Sheldon 'cause he couldn't find the Batman kind in Pasadena. What else? CeeCee's amazing. Starting to stand up. Trying to walk. Kind of looks like you after a case of beer. And Mandy, she's looking for a job as a TV reporter, which has been, let's just say, a hoot.

Georgie: Hey. How'd the interview go?
Mandy: It didn't.
Georgie: What's that mean?
Mandy: It means I put on control-top pantyhose and I drove across town just to find out they hired some 22-year-old ditz.
Georgie: Guy ditz or girl ditz?
Mandy: What's a guy ditz?
Georgie: I don't know. Gilligan?
Mandy: Well, this one was a girl, and she only got the job because she's young and perky.
Georgie: You're perky.
Mandy: [scoffs] I'm young, too.

Georgie: Given any more thought to carrying those new Korean tires?
Jim: Oh, I appreciate the idea, but my dad fought in Korea. Just feels wrong.
Georgie: I'm pretty sure these are the good Koreans.
Jim: Doesn't matter, I don't want to piss off the blimp guys.

Georgie: I was just rushing to pick up my sister 'cause my mom had a church thing and Missy didn't want to go to the church thing 'cause she had a friends thing and they were fighting and, as you can imagine, it was a whole thing.
Jim: I get it, mistakes happen.
Georgie: You don't have to be nice to me just 'cause I'm your son-in-law. I screwed up, let me have it.
Jim: I thought I was letting you have it.
Georgie: No, you're being nice.
Jim: Oh. I'm sorry.
Georgie: Don't apologize. I should be apologizing to you.
Jim: Well, you already did.
Georgie: Yeah, but then you were nice and ruined it.
Jim: J-Just open the store.
Georgie: "Just open the store..."
Jim: Dumbass.
Georgie: Was that so hard?

Mandy: Couples fight. It's not a big deal.
Audrey: Have you ever heard your father and I raise our voices at one another?
Mandy: No.
Audrey: And do you know why?
Mandy: 'Cause you squashed the life out of him?

Mandy: It's not Georgie's fault. I'm just frustrated trying to find a job.
Audrey: You ever think instead of the TV news, you try the local paper?
Mandy: [scoffs] Look at this face. I'm on-camera talent.

Georgie: [exhales] [strains] Hello? Anybody? Ruben!
Jim: [enters] Georgie. Your sister's on the phone.
Georgie: I'm gonna have to call her back.
Jim: What are you doing?
Georgie: I'm holding the transmission fluid recirculator.
Jim: The what?
Georgie: Ruben said if I let it fall, bad things will happen.
Jim: [on the phone] Missy, hang on a sec. [to Georgie] Son, there is no such thing as a transmission fluid recirculator.
Georgie: Then what am I holding?
Jim: I have no idea.

Georgie: [on the phone] What'd you do?
Missy Cooper: It's not that big a deal.
Georgie: Getting suspended's a big deal.
Missy Cooper: Are you coming or not?
Georgie: I can't just drop everything, I have a job.
Missy Cooper: Forget it, I'll hitch. If I never see you again, don't blame yourself.
Georgie: I'm on my way.

Georgie: What were you thinking?
Missy Cooper: I was thinking I didn't want to take the test.
Georgie: So cut class, don't pull a fire alarm.
Missy Cooper: Next time, I'll know better.
Georgie: No next time. And how do you think you're gonna keep this from Mom?
Missy Cooper: Easy. I pretend to go to school in the morning and pretend to come home in the afternoon.
Georgie: The school's gonna call the house.
Missy Cooper: No problem. [as Mary] "Hi, this is Mary Cooper, Jesus loves you. What'd she do? Don't you worry, I will pray the devil right out of that rascal."
Georgie: That's not gonna work.
Missy Cooper: It did last time I got suspended.