Valerie: So, is my car ready?
Georgie: Let me check.
Ruben: Yes, ma'am, it most certainly is. My name's Ruben. What's yours?
Valerie: Valerie.
Ruben: Oh, lovely name. Valerie, you're gonna need brake pads on your vehicle, sooner better than later.
Valerie: Thank you. Good to know.
Georgie: Ruben, I got this.
Ruben: I'm just thinking of her safety. Don't you need to call your wife or something? He's married.
Valerie: I know. I'm actually hoping to meet her at church this Sunday.
Ruben: Church?
Valerie: Yeah.
Ruben: Mm, too much work.

Valerie: So, will I see you on Sunday?
Georgie: Yeah, I think you will. Might be solo. My wife's not real interested.
Valerie: Oh, too bad. But I will be glad to see you.
Georgie: Oh. And I'll be glad to see you... in a churchly fashion. Before I forget, free air freshener.
Valerie: Oh. [sniffs] Apple, the fruit of temptation.
Georgie: Hang on, I got a mango in here somewhere.

Georgie: I feel a little weird. The only time I ever wore this was my dad's funeral.
Mandy: Well, I'm sure he'd be glad to know you're getting your money's worth.
Georgie: He was thrifty. You know, he's the one who taught me shampoo is really just liquid soap. You can wash your hair with a bar of Irish Spring. Same deal.
Mandy: Is that why your hair smells like that?
Georgie: Mmm, when you first met me, yeah. Now I'm a Zest man.

Valerie: Reverend, this is Georgie Cooper.
Reverend Travis Lemon: Travis Lemon. How are you doing on this glorious Sunday?
Georgie: Depends. You got pancakes?
Reverend Travis Lemon: Better. We got waffles the shape of Texas.
Georgie: Praise the Lord.
Valerie: [chuckles] I got a flat tire the other night and Georgie rescued me.
Reverend Travis Lemon: Ah, a Good Samaritan. Isn't that something?
Georgie: It's my job, so maybe just a regular Samaritan.

Audrey: Remember when you wanted to be a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader?
Mandy: There's still time. [off Jim's look] There is!
Jim: Yeah, and I'm gonna be an aerobics instructor.

Jim: Giving him a cut only motivates him to make more.
Audrey: Keeping him hungry motivates him more.
Jim: Now, you see, that is the kind of thinking that makes Communism appealing.
Georgie: You sure we shouldn't jump in?
Mandy: Shh, we're close.
Audrey: Did you just call me a Communist?
Jim: I'm just saying a good American would pay him what he's worth.
Mandy: There it is.
Audrey: Fine, pay him whatever you want.
Mandy: And that's how I got a Jeep Cherokee.

Georgie: I'm just saying a lot of what they preach makes sense.
Mandy: Ugh, you're starting to sound like your mom.
Georgie: What the heck's that supposed to mean?
Mandy: Oh, calm down, I love her, but... you know, when it comes to the church, she's a little bit of a...
Georgie: A little bit of a what?
Mandy: Hang on, I'm trying to think of a word that isn't "nutjob."
Georgie: Nutjob? If I were you, I wouldn't start comparing moms.
Mandy: [scoffs] What's that mean?
Georgie: Hang on, I'm trying to think of a word that isn't "bitch." [Mandy gasps] Where you going? I thought we were gonna fool around.
Mandy: Pray for it, see what happens.

Georgie: Hey. Still waiting on them brakes?
Ruben: Want it done fast or you want 'em done right?
Georgie: Well, I want 'em done now.
Ruben: [chuckles] Aw, like a big lion practicing his roar.
Georgie: I ain't in the mood, Ruben. [Ruben meows] Quit it.
Ruben: [chuckles] Trouble at home? Wife find out about the hot church lady?
Georgie: No.
Ruben: Keeping her a secret? Smart.

Georgie: I don't care about her.
Jim: Care about who?
Georgie: The woman who invited me to church.
Ruben: The hot woman. Baywatch hot.
Jim: Care to explain?
Georgie: Yeah, she's attractive.
Ruben: Muy fuego.
Georgie: But it don't matter 'cause we're just friends.
Jim: So you're not doing something dumb?
Georgie: Oh, I do dumb stuff all the time, just not this.

Audrey: Will Georgie be joining us for dinner?
Mandy: Uh, no, he's at Bible study.
Audrey: Oh. I do hope he isn't turning into his mother.
Mandy: That is a terrible thing to say.
Audrey: No matter how hard we fight it, at some point we all turn into our parents.
Mandy: Yeah, well, I'm turning into Dad.
Audrey: Too late, blondie.

Audrey: Where you going?
Mandy: To tell my husband I love and support him, no matter what he chooses to do.
Audrey: I think that's a mistake.
Mandy: Yeah, that's why I'm doing it.

Valerie: Georgie, you've been awful quiet. Is there anything you'd like to say before we wrap it up?
Georgie: Oh, uh, yeah. I would like to thank you all for being so welcoming. I haven't been hugged this much since I was on the high school wrestling team. Oh, before I forget... Here's my business card. McAllister Auto. We offer 24-hour towing and all your tire needs. Just give them this card and you'll get ten percent off our already low, low prices.
Valerie: That it?
Georgie: Oh. Amen.

Valerie: Could I tell you something? I think my flat tire was no accident.
Georgie: What are you saying? You put a nail in your own tire?
Valerie: I think God did it, to bring you here.
Georgie: Well, if that's true, I'm glad he did.
Valerie: Me, too. [kisses Georgie]
Georgie: Whoa, I'm a married man.
Mandy: You sure are! Move. [slaps Valerie] Let's go, married man.
Georgie: You saw me pull away, right?
Mandy: It's the only reason you're still standing.

Mandy: Georgie? Hey, what're you doing here? Is everything okay?
Georgie: Everything's great. This one didn't want to sleep, so I thought we'd come pay you a visit.
Mandy: Oh, that's sweet, but I'm real busy.
Georgie: Well, you sure I can't buy you some dessert? I got $11 from your dad burning a hole in my pocket.

[A male customer puts down a few coins on his bill as he gets up to leave]
Georgie: Whoa, that's all you're leaving?
Customer: Yeah.
Georgie: Just so you know, you ain't just tipping your waitress, you're also tipping her baby girl here. [man places down some more change] Oh, come on. Look at this face. [man places down a note] There we go. Have a nice night.

Mandy: Your pager.
Georgie: I hear it. [continues kissing Mandy]
Mandy: Aren't you gonna answer it?
Georgie: It's just someone with a broke down car. They ain't going nowhere.
Mandy: What if it's an emergency?
Georgie: This is an emergency. [pager vibrates] Dang it.
Mandy: It's okay, I'll be here when you get back.
Georgie: Great, I'll wake you.
Mandy: Or, you know, let me sleep through it. It's fine.

Georgie: Evening, miss.
Valerie: Thank the Lord. I got a flat tire.
Georgie: Well, good news, it's only flat on the bottom. [chuckles] A little tow truck humor.
Valerie: Can you fix it?
Georgie: I can change it. Got a spare?
Valerie: I do, it's that one right there. [points to rear wheel]
Georgie: Oh. Well, I can tow you back to the shop and get you fixed up in the morning.
Valerie: Thank you.

Georgie: So, what about you? What kind of job gets you a car like that?
Valerie: Oh, um, I work in real estate, but honestly, I owe it all to my church.
Georgie: Really? My mom's church never gave out Mercedes. Once in a while, you'd get free pancakes, but that's about it.
Valerie: [laughs] I'm serious. I mean, I was struggling before I joined my congregation, but now I'm doing great. You know, God wants us to be prosperous.
Georgie: All I remember from Sunday school is, "Thou shalt not have any fun."
Valerie: Well, maybe you're going to the wrong church. You should check us out.
Georgie: Maybe I will.
Valerie: I'm telling you, if you invest in God, He will return that investment tenfold.
Georgie: How's He with debt? 'Cause I got me a few folds of that.

Cynthia: Welcome.
Georgie: Thank you.
Cynthia: Is this your first time with us?
Georgie: Yes, ma'am.
Cynthia: Well, we are so glad to have you. [hugs him]
Georgie: Oh, okay.
Cynthia: Welcome, welcome, welcome.
Georgie: Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Valerie: Georgie, welcome. [hugs him]
Georgie: [chuckles] Oh, y'all are a huggy bunch.

Valerie: Georgie drives a tow truck and works at a tire shop.
Reverend Travis Lemon: When do you find the time to sleep?
Georgie: I don't. So if it happens during your sermon, don't take it personal.
Reverend Travis Lemon: Hard worker, God rewards that.
Georgie: Speaking of which, I couldn't help but notice you had some church vans out there with bald tires. Be happy to take care of that for you.
Reverend Travis Lemon: Oh, yeah, this is the church for you. Let's talk after the service.
Valerie: I told you. Not even here five minutes and you're already prospering.
Georgie: I guess I am.
Valerie: I'm so happy for you. [chuckles] [hugs Georgie]
Georgie: Okay, more hugging.