[dream sequence:]
Georgie: Did you ever miss a day of work?
George Sr.: Yeah, when I had my first heart attack. Did you have a heart attack?
Georgie: No, sir, just runny nose, scratchy throat.
George Sr.: Oh, serious.
Georgie: And a fever. 102.
George Sr.: Poor baby. Should I sing you "Soft Kitty?"
Georgie: I'm going back.
George Sr.: Good man. [Georgie stands up and hugs his father] What you doing?
Georgie: Hugging you.
[When Georgie pulls back and looks up at his father, George Sr. looks like a rotting zombie]
George Sr.: Get to work!
[reality: Georgie gasps as he wakes up, sweaty in bed]

Frasier: [on TV] In order to prevent spillage, one does not simply twist out the cork. [shouts] Oh, God!
Georgie: Frasier's a laughing show. I like laughing shows.
Audrey: What are you talking about?
Georgie: Well, some shows you can hear people laughing, and some you can't. Wonder Years, no one's laughing. Is it funny? We'll never know.
Audrey: I prefer to laugh when I choose to.
Georgie: Really? I ain't never seen you laugh. [Jim laughs]

Jim: I don't know what to do with that boy.
Audrey: There's nothing "to do" with him. He's just a creative soul.
Georgie: If it helps, I've got some experience with quirky family members.
Mandy: Oh, that is true.
Georgie: Sheldon turned out pretty good, considering majority of the folks can't stand him.
Audrey: Well, what did your parents do?
Georgie: Well, my mom always babied him, and my dad was always mad about it.
Mandy: Yeah, that's exactly what they've been doing.
Georgie: Right. Keep up the good work.

Georgie: I told you, you don't have to call me "sir." Plain ol' Georgie's fine.
Ruben: Look at me, taking orders from "plain ol' Georgie."
Georgie: Hey, I'm not giving orders. I'm just a lowly Smurf working for his lordship.
Ruben: Lowly serf.
Georgie: No, I'm pretty sure it's Smurf.
Ruben: Except one of us is sleeping with the boss's daughter.
Georgie: Whoa. Hold on, partner. I slept with her, got her pregnant, and then married her. The order's a little wonky, but I checked all the boxes.

Georgie: I'm fine. Besides, Cooper men don't take sick days. My dad once had his appendix out, he was at work later that afternoon.
Jim: Really?
Georgie: Yeah. I mean, he passed out in the teachers' lounge, but he passed out at work.
Jim: Son, I'm not sure you're taking the right lesson from that story.
Georgie: Sure I am. Tough it out.
Jim: No, I don't think so.

Jim: Ruben, you seen my son-in-law?
Ruben: You mean Typhoid Georgie? No.

Connor: Let's see what we're dealing with. [places the back of his hand on Georgie's forehead] Oh, yeah, that's a fever. I'm gonna say 102.
Georgie: You don't know that.
Connor: A rectal thermometer would be more precise. But I don't think you and I are there yet.