Georgie: Hey, make sure you try the new toilet seat. I got the deluxe padded kind.
Audrey: I did. Terrific.
Jim: Let's just try to keep in mind that most of our customers are men. We don't want to scare 'em off.
Audrey: Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize flowers were so scary.
Jim: [sarcastic laugh] All right, enough. You know what I meant.

Audrey: Have you seen that new Friends show?
Mandy: No.
Audrey: All they do is drink coffee. Who can drink that much coffee?
Mandy: I don't know.
Audrey: And their mugs are like soup bowls. Is that a New York thing?
Mandy: Mom, I don't know.
Audrey: I miss Cosby. He was a nice family man.

Audrey: You're taking care of him?
Connor: Trying to. He is not an easy patient.
Audrey: Did you threaten him with the thermometer?
Connor: I had to.
Audrey: Always worked with you.

Mandy: Busy?
Audrey: Just sending the U.S. government more of our hard-earned money to piss away.

Ruben: Why are you reading Cosmo?
Georgie: Trying to learn how women think. Did you know there's a lot of dirty stuff in here?
Ruben: Are there pictures?
Georgie: Sometimes.
Ruben: Hmm.
Georgie: Listen to this, "The Health Benefits of Sex." "Travels in His... Erogenous Zone"? I don't know what that is.

Mandy: I don't know, Georgie, it kind of seems like the frog and the boiling water.
Georgie: What's that?
Mandy: Well, it's a metaphor. The frog is in a pot of water, and the heat gets turned up little by little so it doesn't notice it's boiling.
Georgie: Who's boiling a frog?
Mandy: It doesn't matter.
Georgie: Are they making frog soup?
Mandy: It's not a real thing.
Georgie: Oh, good, 'cause I would not eat frog soup.
Mandy: I-I'm just saying, my mom's gradually starting to like you, so maybe don't turn up the heat too fast.

Georgie: I figure, with just a few changes, we could be the only woman-friendly tire store in town.
Mandy: This ought to be good. What changes?
Georgie: For starters, we got some lady magazines for the waiting area.
Jim: And flavored creamers for the coffee.
Georgie: Fat-free. Y'all like fat-free.