Connor: Trouble with the little woman?
Georgie: Go to bed, Connor.
Connor: I was hoping to watch my friend Jay Leno.
Georgie: Fine.
Jay Leno: [on TV] Had some of the green donuts, had some of the green coffee...
Georgie: Just so you know, this ain't a big deal. Your sister and I'll work it out.
Connor: Do you mind? [laughter on TV] [laughs] This guy. [laughs]
Jay Leno: [on TV] Pots of gold...
Georgie: You gonna watch the whole show?
Connor: Uh, normally, I'd go to sleep after the monologue, but Sinbad's on. [laughing loudly] Oh, Jay, you're the best.

Mandy: What you doing?
Connor: Uh, a pan in the dishwasher's making a cool rhythm.
Mandy: So, you're not on any drugs at all, this is just you?
Connor: I do take a multivitamin.
Mandy: Are you snorting it? [exits]
Connor: Who needs a drummer? I got a Maytag.

Audrey: How's your music going?
Connor: Excellent. I'm working on a piece in seven-four time. ♪ One-two-three, one-two, one-two ♪ ♪ One-two-three, one-two, one-two. ♪ It's impossible to dance to.

Connor: Can I get your opinion on something?
Mandy: Sure.
Connor: I made a song out of the sounds of our house.
Mandy: Cool.
Connor: It's called "The Sounds of Our House."
Mandy: Clever.
Connor: [song of household appliance noises plays] That's the dishwasher. Vacuum. Front door.
Mandy: Huh. This is actually fun.
Connor: I'm actually fun. [CeeCee crying over recording]
Mandy: [gasps] Is that CeeCee?
Connor: She got the solo. [modulated crying] [toilet flushes over recording]
Mandy: So what's your question?
Connor: How great is this?
Mandy: It's pretty great.
Connor: I know.

Georgie: You know, when you think about it... [Mandy slaps Georgie's arm] Best not to think about it.

Georgie: I really want to thank you for trying to straighten things out with my mom.
Audrey: I'm glad someone appreciates it.
Georgie: For what it's worth, I think Mandy was a little out of line.
Audrey: I'm used to it. Everything's always my fault.
Georgie: Not true. Getting pregnant... that one, she blames square on me.
Audrey: As do I.
Georgie: She had a little something to do with it, but I'll spare you the details.
Audrey: Thank you.

Mandy: Mary, you know you're always welcome here.
Mary Cooper: Am I? Sure doesn't feel that way.
Audrey: Oh, come down off the cross.
Mary Cooper: Lady, you do not want me to come down.
Georgie: All right, all right, y'all need to cool your jets.
Mary Cooper: Don't worry, I am leaving.
Audrey: Thanks for stopping by.
Mary Cooper: Oh, I'll pray for you, but I do not have high hopes.