Mandy: Sorry, didn't mean to wake you.
Georgie: Oh, it's okay. How was work?
Mandy: Busy. I feel bad I didn't have time for you.
Georgie: I get it.
Mandy: Well, I got time for you now. [they kiss]
Georgie: It's been a while, we ain't gonna need much time. You smell like bacon.
Mandy: Really? I showered.
Georgie: I ain't complaining. I like bacon.

Valerie: You are not what I expected when I called a tow truck.
Georgie: Oh, you were waiting on a butt-crack Bubba type?
Valerie: [chuckles] Yeah.
Georgie: Well, sorry to disappoint. Mine is firmly tucked away.
Valerie: So, are you McAllister?
Georgie: Cooper, McAllister's my father-in-law.
Valerie: You're married? You look so young.
Georgie: Well, when you meet the right woman and get her pregnant, you just know.

Audrey: Oh, my goodness, CeeCee, you're getting so big.
Jim: 'Cause she's a Texas baby.
Mandy: 'Cause you keep sneaking her cookies.
Jim: I want her to like me.

Georgie: Morning. Why didn't you wake me?
Mandy: Oh, well, you got in so late, I wanted to give you a break.
Georgie: What did I do to deserve you?
Mandy: [points to CeeCee] This.

Georgie: This could also be a business opportunity. Prosperous folks need tires, too.
Mandy: I don't know.
Jim: Now, now, hold on, let him talk.
Audrey: You're okay with him going to church just to sell tires?
Jim: Yes.
Georgie: You want to come with me?
Jim: No.

Valerie: So, is my car ready?
Georgie: Let me check.
Ruben: Yes, ma'am, it most certainly is. My name's Ruben. What's yours?
Valerie: Valerie.
Ruben: Oh, lovely name. Valerie, you're gonna need brake pads on your vehicle, sooner better than later.
Valerie: Thank you. Good to know.
Georgie: Ruben, I got this.
Ruben: I'm just thinking of her safety. Don't you need to call your wife or something? He's married.
Valerie: I know. I'm actually hoping to meet her at church this Sunday.
Ruben: Church?
Valerie: Yeah.
Ruben: Mm, too much work.

Valerie: So, will I see you on Sunday?
Georgie: Yeah, I think you will. Might be solo. My wife's not real interested.
Valerie: Oh, too bad. But I will be glad to see you.
Georgie: Oh. And I'll be glad to see you... in a churchly fashion. Before I forget, free air freshener.
Valerie: Oh. [sniffs] Apple, the fruit of temptation.
Georgie: Hang on, I got a mango in here somewhere.

Georgie: I feel a little weird. The only time I ever wore this was my dad's funeral.
Mandy: Well, I'm sure he'd be glad to know you're getting your money's worth.
Georgie: He was thrifty. You know, he's the one who taught me shampoo is really just liquid soap. You can wash your hair with a bar of Irish Spring. Same deal.
Mandy: Is that why your hair smells like that?
Georgie: Mmm, when you first met me, yeah. Now I'm a Zest man.

Valerie: Reverend, this is Georgie Cooper.
Reverend Travis Lemon: Travis Lemon. How are you doing on this glorious Sunday?
Georgie: Depends. You got pancakes?
Reverend Travis Lemon: Better. We got waffles the shape of Texas.
Georgie: Praise the Lord.
Valerie: [chuckles] I got a flat tire the other night and Georgie rescued me.
Reverend Travis Lemon: Ah, a Good Samaritan. Isn't that something?
Georgie: It's my job, so maybe just a regular Samaritan.

Audrey: Remember when you wanted to be a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader?
Mandy: There's still time. [off Jim's look] There is!
Jim: Yeah, and I'm gonna be an aerobics instructor.

Jim: Giving him a cut only motivates him to make more.
Audrey: Keeping him hungry motivates him more.
Jim: Now, you see, that is the kind of thinking that makes Communism appealing.
Georgie: You sure we shouldn't jump in?
Mandy: Shh, we're close.
Audrey: Did you just call me a Communist?
Jim: I'm just saying a good American would pay him what he's worth.
Mandy: There it is.
Audrey: Fine, pay him whatever you want.
Mandy: And that's how I got a Jeep Cherokee.

Georgie: I'm just saying a lot of what they preach makes sense.
Mandy: Ugh, you're starting to sound like your mom.
Georgie: What the heck's that supposed to mean?
Mandy: Oh, calm down, I love her, but... you know, when it comes to the church, she's a little bit of a...
Georgie: A little bit of a what?
Mandy: Hang on, I'm trying to think of a word that isn't "nutjob."
Georgie: Nutjob? If I were you, I wouldn't start comparing moms.
Mandy: [scoffs] What's that mean?
Georgie: Hang on, I'm trying to think of a word that isn't "bitch." [Mandy gasps] Where you going? I thought we were gonna fool around.
Mandy: Pray for it, see what happens.

Georgie: Hey. Still waiting on them brakes?
Ruben: Want it done fast or you want 'em done right?
Georgie: Well, I want 'em done now.
Ruben: [chuckles] Aw, like a big lion practicing his roar.
Georgie: I ain't in the mood, Ruben. [Ruben meows] Quit it.
Ruben: [chuckles] Trouble at home? Wife find out about the hot church lady?
Georgie: No.
Ruben: Keeping her a secret? Smart.

Georgie: I don't care about her.
Jim: Care about who?
Georgie: The woman who invited me to church.
Ruben: The hot woman. Baywatch hot.
Jim: Care to explain?
Georgie: Yeah, she's attractive.
Ruben: Muy fuego.
Georgie: But it don't matter 'cause we're just friends.
Jim: So you're not doing something dumb?
Georgie: Oh, I do dumb stuff all the time, just not this.

Audrey: Will Georgie be joining us for dinner?
Mandy: Uh, no, he's at Bible study.
Audrey: Oh. I do hope he isn't turning into his mother.
Mandy: That is a terrible thing to say.
Audrey: No matter how hard we fight it, at some point we all turn into our parents.
Mandy: Yeah, well, I'm turning into Dad.
Audrey: Too late, blondie.

Audrey: Where you going?
Mandy: To tell my husband I love and support him, no matter what he chooses to do.
Audrey: I think that's a mistake.
Mandy: Yeah, that's why I'm doing it.

Valerie: Georgie, you've been awful quiet. Is there anything you'd like to say before we wrap it up?
Georgie: Oh, uh, yeah. I would like to thank you all for being so welcoming. I haven't been hugged this much since I was on the high school wrestling team. Oh, before I forget... Here's my business card. McAllister Auto. We offer 24-hour towing and all your tire needs. Just give them this card and you'll get ten percent off our already low, low prices.
Valerie: That it?
Georgie: Oh. Amen.

Valerie: Could I tell you something? I think my flat tire was no accident.
Georgie: What are you saying? You put a nail in your own tire?
Valerie: I think God did it, to bring you here.
Georgie: Well, if that's true, I'm glad he did.
Valerie: Me, too. [kisses Georgie]
Georgie: Whoa, I'm a married man.
Mandy: You sure are! Move. [slaps Valerie] Let's go, married man.
Georgie: You saw me pull away, right?
Mandy: It's the only reason you're still standing.

Audrey: I was thinking of taking CeeCee with me to the mall today.
Mandy: Oh, that'd be a huge help. Thanks.
Audrey: You hear that, sweetheart? Just you and Grandma.
Mandy: Wait a minute. We discussed this. You're not getting her ears pierced.
Audrey: Oh, come on. People keep thinking she's a boy.
Mandy: I don't care.
Audrey: She won't remember it.
Mandy: Yes, she will, 'cause it's the last time she'll ever see her grandma.
Audrey: Fine.
Jim: While you're there, I could use some socks.
Audrey: I'm not going anymore.

Georgie: Lawn's all mowed, and the sprinkler's fixed.
Jim: I didn't know it was broken.
Georgie: Wasn't till I ran over it with the lawn mower.