Georgie: I just can't help wondering if this is how my marriage is gonna be in 30 years.
Jim: If you're lucky.
Georgie: How is this lucky?
Jim: Ah, 30 years is a good run. Lot of folks end up divorced.
Georgie: Yeah, 'cause they lie to each other.
Jim: Hey, when you been with someone that long, it's nice to have a little secret now and then.
Georgie: You trying to convince me or you?
Jim: I'm trying to have some fun, but I got the world's oldest teenager dragging me down.

Mandy: Welcome back.
Audrey: How was the convention?
Jim: Best one yet.
Audrey: Aw.
Georgie: Yeah. Korean sales rep took us out to a steakhouse. We had steaks.
Mandy: Yum.

Mandy: So, I hope it wasn't all work. I hope you had a little fun.
Georgie: Well, you know me. Work is fun.
Mandy: Mm.
Georgie: Here, check it out. I got you something.
Mandy: [gasps] Oh, my God. Diamond earrings. Are these real?
Georgie: 'Course they're real.
Mandy: How can you afford these?
Georgie: [stammering] Your dad gave me a raise.
Jim: Sure did!

Audrey: Did you get me anything, honey?
Jim: Oh, you don't remember? I told you on the phone I was gonna get you something. You told me not to. You were very firm about it. Okay, I'm gonna unpack and hit the shower.

Audrey: Excuse me. Did anyone happen to find a pair of shoes?
Frank: Oh, yeah. Welcome back. Here you go.
Audrey: Thank you.
Frank: Hang on. You want the bra, too?
Audrey: [chuckles nervously] That's not mine!

Mary Cooper: You are looking more and more like your daddy every day.
Audrey: [chuckles] I don't know, I see so much of our side of the family in her.
Mary Cooper: No, that's a Cooper nose right there. And I got it.
Audrey: Maybe, but those are definitely Mandy's eyes. [laughs] Which are basically mine, so...
Mandy: Yup. She's a little mish-mash of both of us.
Georgie: The mish is ours, the mash is yours.

Mary Cooper: You know, if y'all have Valentine's Day plans, I'd be happy to watch her.
Audrey: Oh, that is so sweet of you, but Jim and I already agreed to.
Mary Cooper: You two aren't doing something special?
Audrey: Well, of course we are, we are watching our granddaughter. [laughs]
Mandy: Sorry, we would've asked, this just seemed easier.
Mary Cooper: I understand.
Mandy: She's already here and...
Mary Cooper: And I'm a whole ten minutes away. I understand.
Georgie: But St. Patrick's Day, she's all yours. Just don't get her drunk.

Jim: Oh, come on, Audrey, you know I'm right, or you wouldn't even be asking me.
Audrey: I suppose I could see her side of this.
Jim: There you go.
Audrey: After all, she has had a hard year.
Jim: It's big of you to recognize that. [kisses Audrey]
Audrey: And CeeCee does love me more than her.
Jim: So close to sticking the landing.

Mandy: Is it just me or are they getting more crazy?
Georgie: Maybe it's some sort of menopause thing.
Mandy: What do you think that means?
Georgie: When old ladies sweat for no reason and get cranky?
Mandy: Georgie, that is... very accurate, um, but I don't think that's what's happening here.

Mandy: No, you're always giving your mom a pass for everything.
Georgie: Oh, come on, her husband just died, her favorite kid moved away...
Mandy: You?
Georgie: Sheldon. And she's stuck living with my sister, who hates her and hates the world.
Mandy: [scoffs] Missy's just being a teenager.
Georgie: I wasn't like that when I was a teenager.
Mandy: Honey, you're still a teenager.

Audrey: I was thinking about what happened yesterday, and I can understand why you felt left out.
Mary Cooper: 'Cause you left me out?
Audrey: Yes, and that was... inconsiderate of me.
Mary Cooper: Is this an apology?
Audrey: I don't want to fight for CeeCee's sake.
Mary Cooper: But is it an apology?
Audrey: Yes, geez.
Mary Cooper: We do not say "geez" in my church.
Audrey: Sorry.
Mary Cooper: But thank you.

Audrey: You're welcome. Considering the year you've had, I should be more sensitive to your needs.
Mary Cooper: Excuse me?
Audrey: What?
Mary Cooper: "The year I've had"?
Audrey: Well... yes.
Mary Cooper: I do not need your pity.
Audrey: My God, what is your problem?
Mary Cooper: Do not take the Lord's name in vain.
Audrey: I didn't, I was asking him what is your problem?

Georgie: Pass the green beans.
Mandy: Enjoy.
Georgie: I will.
Connor: [from the kitchen counter] They're a little overcooked.

Georgie: She's got a point, Mandy. She did make the effort.
Mandy: What, so now you're defending her?
Georgie: I just know my mom can be real stubborn.
Mandy: Yeah, and I know whatever my mom said she said wasn't what she said, and if it was, then that was not how she said it.

Georgie: But she went to apologize. That's a huge step for her.
Audrey: I wouldn't say huge, but thank you.

Jim: Hey, I got an idea. Why don't we bury the hatchet, invite Mary and Missy over for dinner Sunday. [off Georgie, Mandy and Audrey's looks] Saturday?
Audrey: That woman is not setting foot in this house until she apologizes to me.
Georgie: It does sound like she owes you one.
Mandy: What is wrong with you?
Georgie: What is wrong with you?
Connor: [from the kitchen counter] Now you know why I eat over here.

Georgie: Remember when I used to wear tighty-whities? I've come a long way.

Mandy: After all the crap she's given you, I can't believe you're siding with her over your poor, widowed mother.
Georgie: My poor, widowed mother could have accepted her apology, and this'd be all over.
Mandy: Oh, just forget it. Let's go to sleep.
Georgie: Gladly.
Mandy: You know, it's not fair to be mad at you.
Georgie: Thank you.
Mandy: I saw a thing on TV that the human brain isn't fully formed till 25, so I have to assume that's what's going on here.
Georgie: Yeah? Well, I saw a thing on TV about early-onset menopause. Maybe that's what's going on here.
[cut to Georgie preparing the couch to sleep on]

Connor: Trouble with the little woman?
Georgie: Go to bed, Connor.
Connor: I was hoping to watch my friend Jay Leno.
Georgie: Fine.
Jay Leno: [on TV] Had some of the green donuts, had some of the green coffee...
Georgie: Just so you know, this ain't a big deal. Your sister and I'll work it out.
Connor: Do you mind? [laughter on TV] [laughs] This guy. [laughs]
Jay Leno: [on TV] Pots of gold...
Georgie: You gonna watch the whole show?
Connor: Uh, normally, I'd go to sleep after the monologue, but Sinbad's on. [laughing loudly] Oh, Jay, you're the best.

Georgie: Look who I brought!
Mary Cooper: Oh, there's my favorite girl!
Georgie: I won't tell Missy.
Mary Cooper: Oh. After the tattoo, she's not even top three.