Valerie: Reverend, this is Georgie Cooper.
Reverend Travis Lemon: Travis Lemon. How are you doing on this glorious Sunday?
Georgie: Depends. You got pancakes?
Reverend Travis Lemon: Better. We got waffles the shape of Texas.
Georgie: Praise the Lord.
Valerie: [chuckles] I got a flat tire the other night and Georgie rescued me.
Reverend Travis Lemon: Ah, a Good Samaritan. Isn't that something?
Georgie: It's my job, so maybe just a regular Samaritan.

Audrey: Remember when you wanted to be a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader?
Mandy: There's still time. [off Jim's look] There is!
Jim: Yeah, and I'm gonna be an aerobics instructor.

Jim: Giving him a cut only motivates him to make more.
Audrey: Keeping him hungry motivates him more.
Jim: Now, you see, that is the kind of thinking that makes Communism appealing.
Georgie: You sure we shouldn't jump in?
Mandy: Shh, we're close.
Audrey: Did you just call me a Communist?
Jim: I'm just saying a good American would pay him what he's worth.
Mandy: There it is.
Audrey: Fine, pay him whatever you want.
Mandy: And that's how I got a Jeep Cherokee.

Georgie: I'm just saying a lot of what they preach makes sense.
Mandy: Ugh, you're starting to sound like your mom.
Georgie: What the heck's that supposed to mean?
Mandy: Oh, calm down, I love her, but... you know, when it comes to the church, she's a little bit of a...
Georgie: A little bit of a what?
Mandy: Hang on, I'm trying to think of a word that isn't "nutjob."
Georgie: Nutjob? If I were you, I wouldn't start comparing moms.
Mandy: [scoffs] What's that mean?
Georgie: Hang on, I'm trying to think of a word that isn't "bitch." [Mandy gasps] Where you going? I thought we were gonna fool around.
Mandy: Pray for it, see what happens.

Georgie: Hey. Still waiting on them brakes?
Ruben: Want it done fast or you want 'em done right?
Georgie: Well, I want 'em done now.
Ruben: [chuckles] Aw, like a big lion practicing his roar.
Georgie: I ain't in the mood, Ruben. [Ruben meows] Quit it.
Ruben: [chuckles] Trouble at home? Wife find out about the hot church lady?
Georgie: No.
Ruben: Keeping her a secret? Smart.

Georgie: I don't care about her.
Jim: Care about who?
Georgie: The woman who invited me to church.
Ruben: The hot woman. Baywatch hot.
Jim: Care to explain?
Georgie: Yeah, she's attractive.
Ruben: Muy fuego.
Georgie: But it don't matter 'cause we're just friends.
Jim: So you're not doing something dumb?
Georgie: Oh, I do dumb stuff all the time, just not this.

Audrey: Will Georgie be joining us for dinner?
Mandy: Uh, no, he's at Bible study.
Audrey: Oh. I do hope he isn't turning into his mother.
Mandy: That is a terrible thing to say.
Audrey: No matter how hard we fight it, at some point we all turn into our parents.
Mandy: Yeah, well, I'm turning into Dad.
Audrey: Too late, blondie.

Audrey: Where you going?
Mandy: To tell my husband I love and support him, no matter what he chooses to do.
Audrey: I think that's a mistake.
Mandy: Yeah, that's why I'm doing it.

Valerie: Georgie, you've been awful quiet. Is there anything you'd like to say before we wrap it up?
Georgie: Oh, uh, yeah. I would like to thank you all for being so welcoming. I haven't been hugged this much since I was on the high school wrestling team. Oh, before I forget... Here's my business card. McAllister Auto. We offer 24-hour towing and all your tire needs. Just give them this card and you'll get ten percent off our already low, low prices.
Valerie: That it?
Georgie: Oh. Amen.

Valerie: Could I tell you something? I think my flat tire was no accident.
Georgie: What are you saying? You put a nail in your own tire?
Valerie: I think God did it, to bring you here.
Georgie: Well, if that's true, I'm glad he did.
Valerie: Me, too. [kisses Georgie]
Georgie: Whoa, I'm a married man.
Mandy: You sure are! Move. [slaps Valerie] Let's go, married man.
Georgie: You saw me pull away, right?
Mandy: It's the only reason you're still standing.

Audrey: I was thinking of taking CeeCee with me to the mall today.
Mandy: Oh, that'd be a huge help. Thanks.
Audrey: You hear that, sweetheart? Just you and Grandma.
Mandy: Wait a minute. We discussed this. You're not getting her ears pierced.
Audrey: Oh, come on. People keep thinking she's a boy.
Mandy: I don't care.
Audrey: She won't remember it.
Mandy: Yes, she will, 'cause it's the last time she'll ever see her grandma.
Audrey: Fine.
Jim: While you're there, I could use some socks.
Audrey: I'm not going anymore.

Georgie: Lawn's all mowed, and the sprinkler's fixed.
Jim: I didn't know it was broken.
Georgie: Wasn't till I ran over it with the lawn mower.

Georgie: Hey, what's up with that old Mustang in the garage?
Audrey: Ooh, that's a good question, Jim.
Jim: I'm gonna fix it.
Audrey: You've been saying that for years.
Georgie: What's going on?
Mandy: Dad bought the car at a police auction. Mom hates it. You're all caught up.
Audrey: That thing will never run.
Georgie: Yes, it will.
Audrey: Oh, please. There's a better chance I'll see you run.

Georgie: You know, an old Mustang can be worth a lot of money if we fix her up.
Audrey: Yes, fix her, sell her and give me my garage back.
Mandy: Hey, do you know anything about fixing cars?
Georgie: I didn't know anything about fixing sprinklers till about ten minutes ago. What do you think?
Jim: Well, it would be fun to get her running. I don't know about selling it, though.
Georgie: Then we don't.
Audrey: If you sell it, I'll give you half.
Georgie: I think we should sell it.

Jim: Carburetor needs to be rebuilt, the brakes are gone, transmission's cracked, and last I looked, there's a family of rats living in the radiator.
Georgie: So all we need is some elbow grease, a little bit of cheese, and she'll be good as new.
Jim: I wish I had your confidence.
Georgie: I'll loan you some. I got plenty to spare.
Jim: I don't know, now that I'm looking at it, maybe the smart play is just sell it to a junkyard and admit defeat.
Georgie: That sure would make Mrs. McAllister happy. She does enjoy being right.
Jim: Pop the hood. Let's have a look.
Georgie: Now we're talking. Look at that... good news already.
Jim: What?
Georgie: Your rats are dead.

Georgie: This is gonna be great. I ain't never rode in a convertible before.
Jim: You know how dogs like to stick their head out the car window? It's like that but for people.
Georgie: Interior's in good shape. Seats leather?
Jim: No, I think it's Naugahyde.
Georgie: What animal's that from?
Jim: I don't know, a... a "nauga"?

Mandy: Hey. I thought you guys were out here working.
Jim: We are.
Georgie: This is the planning stage.
Jim: Yeah, very important.
Mandy: Okay. Well, you need to wash up, come in for dinner.
Georgie: Be right in.
Jim: I got about a half a bottle of planning left. [bottles clink]

Mandy: They're gonna be a while.
Audrey: Drinking?
Mandy: Yeah.
Audrey: Should've never let him have a fridge out there.

Mandy: Well, that's really sad.
Audrey: Any different than you and me?
Mandy: Well, we do stuff together.
Audrey: Like what?
Mandy: I don't know, didn't we do a puzzle once?

Audrey: Well, if we wanted to do something together, how about we turn my office into a room for the baby?
Mandy: Um, I don't know if I'm ready for her to sleep in her own room.
Audrey: Wouldn't it be nice for you and Georgie to have some privacy?
[fantasy: Georgie and Mandy are kissing in bed:]
Mandy: CeeCee asleep?
Georgie: She's fine. Don't worry about it.
Mandy: Okay.
[toddler CeeCee is standing up in her crib, pointing directly at her mom and dad in bed]
Mandy: [whispers] Slowly take your hand off me.
[reality:]
Mandy: Come to think of it, a little privacy might be nice.